I am not good today after yesterdays explant :(

I have had a really bad day.. :sad:
I don't think i've coped very well at all, i am crying alot and i feel a bit spaced out like i'm not really here sort of thing, quite odd.
I have tried to come on here several times today and I have just ended up writing a load of nonsense & in the end not bothered posting what i've written. I thought i'd lost it a bit.
Worried me so much I went to see my GP and he sat & talked to me for ages because I was his last patient he just squeezed in on an emergency, i cried to him quite alot & he & the nurse were lovely to me, I told them about BJS & you all and he said that it's great how much you're all supporting me and was pleased to know i have somewhere to turn to for help, he took another swab test just to check things are ok and prescribed me with a skin wash cleanser that they use with patients for mrsa just to keep all germs at bay and he wants me to keep in weekly contact as he is worried about psychological affects this may have all had on me.
I have no feeling on the boob now it's completely numb, no throbbing or anything now, it's like i have nothing there.
The flow of rotten fluid has eased slightly tonight, but the surrounding tissue is still harbouring some, you can tell by the surrounding swelling that it's still got quite a bit in there but it should take a matter of days to clear now rather than months..... on a good note
The size, it is not as bad as i thought, due to the uplift is it not facing south which makes a huge difference, it's just empty if you know what i mean, and is still about a C cup which is much easier to disguise than i thought it would be. I took a pic of them in my vest top earlier (bra-less) it just had a little bit of padding underneath and to be honest it's not massively noticeable, i will put it on picturetrail for you to see shortly ok.
Thank you all for your lovely threads & messages of support this past few days, it has made a traumatising situation much more bearable for me, each & every word helped ease the hurt i felt, thanks girls xx xx

Aw hun, sorry you're not feeling yourself, that is perfectly normal after all you've been through you're entitled to feel a bit blue, but it will get better as you are very strong!
Your GP sounds lovely and supportive which is great as some of them can be asses if im honest!
So glad it doesnt look that bad, im sure you were expecting worse but im so glad to hear that they look good with a bit of padding.
Just think things will get better soon and you have your OH, gp and all of our support to get you through

Hay hun, im glad you had a chat with your gp. He sounds really good. Just think, the worst of it is over now and it wont be long till you have a lovely pair of boobs. I cant wait till you do, il be so excited for you because you have had soooo much crap, you deserve some happiness girl!!

Anyway keep going hun, your a brave girl. It makes me feel silly when i was so worried about a stitch sticking out my scar!! Thats just like having a tiny spot in comparision of what you have been through. Keep going strong xx

here it is (to your left) as you can see i do have a bit of something there but i think it could be swelling aswell and will drop to a B cup. I don't have a bra on in this pic, just my vest & the dressing to the bottom of the boob.
I think i could pad this up quite easily to match the one with an implant, just as well i only had 250cc cos imaging trying to disguise 500cc difference!
Yes my GP is so lovely, he's supportive of cosmetic surgery & even encourages it! I'm lucky to have him too and i'm sure with all your support I will soon feel better and positive again xx xx

You're allowed to grieve hun, you don't have to be strong the whole time. You're going though a hell of a lot... you need to have an emotional unburdoning too. Take care, sweetie. Axx

Oh thats not too bad at all laura, you will easily get away with that... No where near as noticable as i thought it would be xx

Wow that pics great hun, just think soon you're going to have a fab perky pair and a great cleavage too

Thanks girls, i have taken a pic without a top on but not ready to share just yet, i think the uplift has made a huge difference tbh as it sits outward quite a bit even though it's empty to feel.
I aint cried for over half an hour now!!!

xx xx

I think its good you've have a good old cry hun, better than bottling it all up, like I and the other girls have said its normal and with what you've been through it sounds traumatising and im sure we would all cry, it will get better though, like you said you'll get over the trauma (as it was only yesterday) and you'll feel a bit better everyday and you can look forward to your new boobs xxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hey laura, if i didn't know you had an explant i wouldn't been able to tell from hat picture!
Honey I am not surprised you feel emotional and depressed, you have been through so much and i don't think i would have been able to be as together as you have been. Even noe that you are feeling like this, I am sure that you are not going to fall apart, you have us, your GP (he does sound great, mine like nads says, is amongst those you could justify as an a*se!), but most of all you have your own strong, lovely and amazing self. Start counting now - every moment of every day is a step towards peacefulness, recovery and your fantastic boobs...

Hey lovely,

First off, your boobs look fine! In that top you really can't tell any difference at all. Like you said I suppose the uplift has a lot to do with it, but you'll be fine with some padding.

Don't worry if you get teary eyed, or feel like you need a good cry, it's good to let it all out. And whenever you need a good rant on here you know this place is always here... literally!

Just think, as soon as it al clears up you'll have new boobs, with no more problems. After a week or so your scar will seal up and you'll feel great! Six weeks and your scar will disappear and you'll be in underwired bras... just in time for summer!

we're all here with you lovely, every step of the way!

xx

Wow hun they look great! you cant tell at all and crying is good for you dont think your bad for it all the emotions will have been building up for a long time.

At least now you can be positive and look forward to getting your new boob again x x x

I'm not posting much on this forum because I'm still at the very early stages of thinking about having breast implants. The main problem being the money.

But I just wanted to say sorry and hope you are feeling better soon. Your boobs don't look bad at all in that pix and the main thing is to get rid of the infection.

I never realised there were these sort of risks and it's making me have second thoughts.

oh hunni, you are sooo brave and although you feel down i think you are so strong your gp sounds fab and i bet you feel better knowing on the medical side of things you will be well looked after . You have a very supportive OH too from what i have read and not forgetting us lol
DONT FORGET WE ARE HERE FOR YOU ALL THE WAY, i know it is sometimes hard to put your feelings into words, but i guess talking on here is like writing your feelings down,and im soooo glad this has helped u :)
as for your pic i think if i didnt know what had happened i wouldnt be able to tell, infact i could hardly tell the difference.
the main thing i guess is that you are now on the road to getting better hunni.
thinking of you all the way
hugs
amanda
xxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

Hiya hun

I'm so sorry you're feeling down - totally normal under the circumstances though. Your doctor sounds lovely and very supportive!

So glad to hear that results aren't as bad as you feared though...hope you start feeling better soon and that you're able to look towards the future and lovely boobs that you WILL have.

Are you still on antibiotics for the infection hun?

Take good care and be kind to yourself - you're so strong for going through all this, so don't forget that

C x

yes, like everyone says, you just take of yourself and cry as much as you like - it's a major trauma you've been through.

hi hun..

i hope you're feeling a bit better today.

your gp sounds amazing, i'm so glad you have someone you can speak to about all of this face to face...

your boobs don't look bad at all on that pic hun, that must be a relief to you, you'll be able to hide that no problem.. it won't be long hun and this will all be over, you've taken the first step now sweetie...

thinkin of you hun

kelly
xxx

Hey babes.

Like the girls have said, it's no wonder that you keep feeling down. You've just been through a very traumatic 3 months. And especially the explant ... that must have been so scary.

Part of the crying is probably relief that things are now heading in the right direction. Your boob hasn't been right since the op, and now you're on the road to recovery.

The girls are all right ... you look really good in that top, and the difference is only noticeable because I was looking for it.

3 months and counting for you darling. It's not far away.

Loads of love and big hugs.

Maria
xx

Thanks girls and the thing that amazes me is how right you all are all the time!!!! you Girls have super-powers i swear!!
I am feeling alot better tonight, the very low period seems to have passed already and i am feeling much happier tonight.
Thanks for the comments on the pic, it's not that bad is it aye, the uplift has made a huge difference in itself, the implant has just added volume.
Thanks for giving me strength to cope through all this, you are all my boobie babies xx xx

Hiya honey

Would you mind if I saw your pic please?

Glad you're feeling more optimistic x

Carrie, the piccy is four posts down. I dont think SS has uploaded any others just yet.

x

The girls have said it all but just wanted to wish you well & hope you feel better soon xx

Aw babes I'm so pleased you''re back and its all over for you for now...time to get strong again.

Everything said so far on here is all the things I can say to you too...you know I'm always here for you with an open honest heart...but the support you've had so far is amazing and I just know you're gonna be ok.
You are one wonderfully strong person...(you've had to be) and I'm hoping that time passes quickly for you now and you can look forward with pride at what you are capable of dealing with.
Everything in life makes us who we are....if its good it lifts us up, if its bad it makes us strong....

Keep your chin up baba!!

HUGS
BBD xxx

Hunny, I am so sorry to hear that you're not feeling like yourself. It is completely normal to feel strange now, this time has been a massive strain on you, mentally and physically. You are coping so well and you are really such a strong girl. Remember to let yourself be tired and sad, don't try and be "a big girl". And most of all, let people take care of you, you deserve it!

Hugs

I'm soo lucky to have "boobie sisters" like you lovelies on here i really am and it's not just me being strong, it's you helping me to be strong and without you all i know i would not be here feeling supported like i do now and i would probably be on medication to help me deal with it, i have my medication each time i log on BJS and there is no better feeling than knowing i will always have your help & support no matter what it is that's thrown at me, knowing you all genuinely care is so special to me
luv ya all & I always will xx xx