What do you think?

Hello!

Im so sorry to bore you again with all this but I need your help in deciding wether I am being unreasonable or wether my surgeon is.

After seing him twice we more or less agreed I need to do the rice test and decide between 2 sizes and then get back to him about a possible surgery date.
After picking a size I had 2 more questions to ask him so i emailed him. 

One is relating to the gap between my breasts as he said I had a largish breast bone. Based on  a picture I showed him of my breasts when I was breast feeding where the gap is perfect to me, I asked him if I could expect something similar with a BA.

Question 2 is based on my breastfeeding breast again. I wanted to know if my nipple will be higher than the way they looked when they were full of milk. 

First email he talked about the rice test and that I need to trust his judgment that he would put the best implant in. So I answered saying I had done the test and I prefered X cc but again asked my 2 questions. He answered that he 'will do his best' and that I must 'stop obsessing over details'. So again ignored my questions.

Is he right am I obsessing? or is he being rude and dismissive? Aren't my questions legitimate? How can I go in with 'ill do my best' and my questions not answered? or is his answer an implicit yes?

Thanks for your advice... XXX

It's not exactly the best bed side manner, is it. At the end of the day, he's going to be cutting you open, and you're parting with a lot of money, so he should have the respect to realise you're nervous and full of questions. Are you sure you're happy for him to go ahead?

As for your questions, you boobs will be exactly the same, but bigger (assuming you're a straight BA). Your cleavage won't change naturally, but you'll have more boob to play with and create one with the right bra. If you're having anatomical or conical, this may give you a slight nipple perk, but otherwise they will remain the same. Hope that goes some way to help!

Oh I'm sorry to hear you are having these problems but it's wrong you should be made to feel small about it! Like Charlii says - it's your body and you are paying him heaps of money - of course you will be 'obsessing' about details! You should be allowed to obsess all you like.

My breasts aren't even - I barely noticed this until I started going to appointments with surgeons though! I questioned my surgeon and he said I would be able to create a cleavage as I have one now anyway (a v small one mind!) but he said one crease will remain slightly lower than the other which I'm fine with. They will look the same but bigger!

Please don't rush things if you don't feel he is the right surgeon for you. Imagine if afterwards you aren't happy and need to bring issues and worries up with you - you would have the same struggles as now and you shouldn't be made to feel 'dismissed' over your worries and questions.

That's just my opinion anyway - having a surgeon I felt comfortable with and could trust was half the battle! Xx

Thank you...Im glad its not just me.

He seems so fed up about girls talking about boobs. Clearly picked the wrong career xxx

Charlie thank you thats all I needed to hear xxx

Comparing my pregnant/breast feeding boobs to now BA boobs they are nothing alike. As Charlii said, they will be exactly the same just larger. I was on verge of needing a lift but didn't want one so we went with the conical furries to give me the lift. My nipples have been raised and I'm pleased.
As the other ladies have said, are you sure your happy with surgeon? Xx

Have you paid him the money yet, have you seen other surgeons? He should answer any questions you have regaurding your BA. Xx

To be honest [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] you don't see. To have much faith in this surgeon. Maybe you should go see another ps just to put your mind at ease. X

Honestly hun I would be sacking this surgeon off and finding someone else, he sounds so rude towards you! YOU are PAYING him a lot of money and he should be doing his job by reassuring you and answering your questions, not telling you that you are obsessing, we all obsess and there is nothing wrong with that. Don't try and force yourself into liking him, look elsewhere lovely :)

Well I'm afraid I think he is just being plain rude, in my opinion if he is unable to answer your questions he should explain why. I understand that a surgeon cannot guarantee results, but it wouldn't hurt him to try and help you get the answers to your questions to put your mind at rest. He isn't doing his self or you any favours by completely egnoring your questions and being condescending. Make sure you're 100% happy and trust your surgeon before you go ahead honey. Good luck xxx

Oh I'm really disappointed to hear this as he is my 1st choice surgeon. 
You don't sound happy hun - I think you should see another PS to see what they say. Extra money I know, but def worth the peace of mind in the long run. 

xx

Hey [You must be registered and logged in to see this link.] what I'd be worried about is after surgery with this surgeon - if you had any worries or niggles, in the healing process, how sympathetic he'd be with you? If he's being this dismissive of your questions before you've even booked with him? That's what went through my mind after I'd had a couple of consults with him. I do think he's an excellent surgeon but I know what a worrier I am and I needed someone who'd be patient and sympathetic with all my worries. If his bedside manner is not hugely important to you, then go with him. But if it is, I'd recommend you see a couple of other surgeons to compare? My surgeon offers consultations in London but I had to go all the way up to Birmingham for the surgery!! Xx

Shona's hit the nail on the head....if he can't communicate with you effectively now than afterwards it will be even harder when you'll likely have even more concerns. Everyone is different, we all need different communication styles and have different anxieties. But a surgeon who is well practiced in his field should be able to respectfully answer your questions and communicate to put your mind at rest, not make you feel worse! Trusting and geling with your surgeon is so important x

Thanks girlies... you are all right. It just annoys me as Im on a dead line with a trip abroad and christmas now. I shouldn't rush anything I know but its annoying I wasted my time with him.

Back to square 1 now !

By the way I sent an email back saying I wasn't 'obsessing over details' and that it was my body and my questions were legitimate!How weird its come to this? I wasn't expecting that.

Thank you all for your support ! xxxxxxx

Good on ya mrsF x

Good on you!  He's lost a good customer there then - all for not taking a bit of extra time to explain / be patient!  Thats exactly what I said re the aftercare - you definitely did the right thing x

You are doing the right thing. Hope you find the right surgeon soon x

I think that's the right choice. You need someone you're happy and comfortable with, who is prepared to take the time to make you feel at ease.

Your deadline is still achievable. Perhaps ask your local spire/Nutfield for some recommendations and call round the secretary's. But also don't forget you have a lifetime of christmas' and holidays ahead of you and only/preferably 1 opportunity to get this decision right... xx

Ive just booked an appointment with Dr Pacifico !
Thanks girlies I feel better.

Lucy I might bump into you !
Now must tell my husband Ive spent another 150£... Oh dear X

Oh that's exciting MrsF - I bet you'll love him, he is very nice and quite good looking (in a surgeonish kind of way!).

When is your consultation? I had to wait ages to see him so hopefully u got lucky. I think I picked a bad time! Xx

Ohhhh good looking you say ..? Now I dont want to show him my boobs then ! Ill be shy and ask him to switch off the light haha

My expectations are really low now so unless he is a total TOOL, Im sure Ill like him. Jokes aside I really hope he is nice I find the whole meeting/ explaining/ getting measured/ a bit nerve wrecking..

I have an appointment on the 29th but I said I needed to be recovered by christmas so she booked me in for a provisional theatre date on the 15th... She was doing me a favour as I insisted, he sounded super booked.

So what is he like? Did he mind if you had questions?

Exciting!!! So provisional theatre date 15th Nov or Dec? If it's Dec then it's the day before me! You could be my Guinea pig - haha - only joking!!

I felt totally comfortable with him - sounds silly but he seems almost like a friend - he's got a really nice way about him and I asked a lot of questions. You go for a sizing appointment with his nurse Sue who is lovely about 2 weeks later. She kind of answers all the little questions like what bra to get etc.

I'm really pleased you are seeing him - I think you'll really like him.

Xxx

Great news! Hope this one suits you better and is more helpful xx

Ohh thats really good to hear Lucy I really want this to go well now. I thought the hard part would be to get cut open!

Dr G hasn't even bothered answering my email can't believe it.

Provisional surgery date 15th of November !
So first appointment is 26th of oct (did that really just last 15 minutes btw?). Then another appointment on the Monday 9th of November (With the Nurse I think, but will I be seeing him again?)

Im excited again now.

Thanks ScotsG :)