How much help?

Hiya girls

I have a bit of a problem, I have 2 small children and my hubby is great with them so I have no worries about him looking after them for 2 weeks. However, my husbands Nan is not very well, she is in hospital and has pneumonia and has had a major stroke. I hate to say it but I don't think she has long left. She's 92 and is really struggling it's such a shame, my hubby is worried about his Nan understandably but now he's worried about me as I have my uplift and ba very soon. He's worried that if anything happens to his Nan he won't be able to look after me - he will still have the kids but if he had to go down to South Birmingham if anything happens he's worried about leaving me alone. I said I would be fine but he asked me to post on here to see how much I will be able to do for myself a few days after the op and how much help I will need to put his mind at rest and arrange for a friend to come if needs be. I feel so guilty about him worrying about me when he has his Nan to worry about.

My question is I know that everyone heals differently but will I be able to look after myself on my own a few days after the op? Or will I need someone with me to help with every day tasks?

Thanks in advance girls xxx

YOU will be fine babe. After about 3 days you'll be able to move about more and look after yourself no problem...

The children are a different story. They will need looking after for two weeks if they're small children that need watching.

You will not be able to lift a child at all for two weeks, you will very tired and will fall asleep at the drop if a hat, your arms will be weak and you'll be slow to walk. Putting them in your care alone post-op is putting THEM in danger.

If there's any possibility at all babe that you might be left alone with the small children in that timescale then it would wise to try and rope friends in to help if you can.

If you are left alone with them having to run round them and lift them then you risk putting yourself back in theatre for any damage you might do to your boobs hun and risk the possibility of making your aftercare void because you haven't adhered to the conditions or worse... One of the children could get hurt.

Sorry for being so blunt lovely but its important to be aware if the 'truth' about this surgery so you can prepare.

Without kids you can rest when you want, eat when you want and take a gentle walk when you want. You simply can't look after yourself or your small children after just having major surgery babe. Xx

Just to add... Sorry to read about your nan and do sincerely hope all is well babe   xx

I think you will need the help...

Everyone is different like you say but after your arm movement is limited and therefore your strength, you will be tired and looking to have naps most likely...
I would say you will be ok for an hour or two throughout the day but a whole day by yourself and you won't be able to look after your children by yourself I wouldn't say (I havnt got children yet) ... Mainly because you won't be able to pick them up, prepare meals and even just keeping them busy... I was napping for a week!

Sorry to hear about your husbands nan, my boyfriend lost his earlier in the year which was the first grievance we've had in the 5 years together so it was a upsetting time xxx

Hiya cookie - sorry, I wasn't very clear. I meant to be able to look after myself.

If anything happens to his Nan he will take the kids with him - he wouldn't leave them with me he knows I can't look after them. I've got arrangements in place for nearly 3 weeks for the kids as my daughter is only 8 months so needs picking up etc. thanks for the concern but it was more about me - he thinks I won't be able to do anything for myself so it's good to know I should be fine. I'm having my op on a Wednesday and my mum is staying with me and my dad is having the kids until Friday as they go away on Saturday. It's good to know I will be ok if he needs to go and see his mum in Birmingham. It's not ideal to take the kids but he knows he has to so don't worry, I wouldn't look after them so soon after my op.

Thanks for the advise cookie I will show hubby so he can stop worrying! xxx

Hiya cookie - sorry, I wasn't very clear. I meant to be able to look after myself.

If anything happens to his Nan he will take the kids with him - he wouldn't leave them with me he knows I can't look after them. I've got arrangements in place for nearly 3 weeks for the kids as my daughter is only 8 months so needs picking up etc. thanks for the concern but it was more about me - he thinks I won't be able to do anything for myself so it's good to know I should be fine. I'm having my op on a Wednesday and my mum is staying with me and my dad is having the kids until Friday as they go away on Saturday. It's good to know I will be ok if he needs to go and see his mum in Birmingham. It's not ideal to take the kids but he knows he has to so don't worry, I wouldn't look after them so soon after my op.

Thanks for the advise cookie I will show hubby so he can stop worrying! xxx

Damn, I keep double posting. Thanks for the well wishes guys and thanks Jen. So am I best asking a friend to come round on Saturday if anything happens? Just as back up so he can stop worrying? I've just had a text from my mum in law basically saying she is just being made comfortable and it's a waiting game as she will never recover. Such a shame. We were really close to his Nan too. Sorry to hear about your boyfriends Nan Jen xx

On the 4th day, even if you feel crappy babe, you're able to take care of yourself.

Surgeons would say you need someone with you for the first 24 hours after surgery to get over the GA and we have women cope because they've had to in doing that. But in realistic terms if you don't have to, then having someone to care for you in the first 3 days really is essential. You really might struggle for those initial days babe, so having someone there to get you though will help a lot. After that, as I said, even if you feel crappy - you'll cope sweetie  

Ok thank you cookie. I will have a friend on back up in case hubby isn't there on the Saturday. 

At least then he can stop stressing about having to look after me. Bless him.

Thanks again xxxx