Think I'm going to tell my mum...

Hi everyone,

Well, the title speaks for itself. I think I have to tell my mum about my BA. I am planning to book it soon and something has been stopping me, and I think it's the utter guilt that comes from not telling her about it. I am absolutely petrified. In fact, I can't remember the last time I felt this way. I was planning on going through it alone, not telling a soul because it's very personal to me. However, something doesn't sit right with me about not telling my mum. We are extremely close and she is a wonderful, wonderful person, so caring and lovely to everyone. My concern is that she will disapprove or talk me out of it, but to be honest, I am not going to be talked out of it. It's my body and this is something I have wanted for years now. I think she is of the opinion that BAs are something only page 3 models have. My reason is more beacuse anorexia messed up my body and I never really went through puberty so my chest hasn't developed. I am scared because I don't want her to worry, and her approval means a lot to me. I will be telling her via email because I'm a wimp! I might post my email to her on here later to see what you guys think...
Eeek! xxxx

I think your doing the right thing as iv said to you previously. She will love you no matter what & youll be so releaved once its out :)

ah hun i had the same thing although from reading your previous messages i do think telling your mum is a much bigger 'deal' to you than it was to me - if that makes sense?

I did go ahead and book it without her knowing, and I didn't end up telling her until i had paid... I was such a wimp and did it by text instead of face to face but I was very surprised with her reaction tbh. Whilst I wouldn't say she's being supportive she's not being negative and has kind of just accepted it's what I want. But i'm glad i told her.

I hope your mum can understand where you're coming from and you feel better about your journey with her on board. good luck xx

You will be so surprised from your mums reaction. My parents are anti surgery but i had to tell them because they deserve to know their daughter is having an op and of course i could get complications, fingers crossed i don't. My parents were very supportive and all they basically said was good luck to you, if your happy we are. Your mum just wants you to be happy so i bet you'll be very surprised by her reaction!! X

I was the same. I couldn't even contemplate telling my mum but after I booked and paid I kinda felt awful for not telling her. As loclo said just in case anything went wrong. I now think my mum is more excited than me. Daily texts asking how I feel etv. Shes your mum im sure she will.be very supportive as it will make you happy x

Aww thank you girls. I'm so pleased your mums have been mostly supportive. I am scared that mine will blab to my step-dad or sister and might bring it up if we have an argument just to spite me! But it's the right thing to do as I don't think anyone should have to go through any kind of surgery alone. If I had someone else with me, it might be easier but my mum has a right to know xxx

Aww Huni xx I'm pleased you have decided to tell your mum! After reading some of your previous messages it will be good to know your getting some support!! I told my mum, but I don't think she was very interested, I have got a lot of support from my nan and gramps!! Were all here for you xx

HI and hope telling your mum goes well. You have obviously been through a lot in your life, and she will understand that you have not made this decision lightly. She will just be worried for you, but hopefully support you! I am the same, all booked up but not told my parents (or in-laws!). I am thinking of telling them the night before so they have the least amount of time to worry and stress and yes try and talk me out of it!!! It is especially hard seeing my mum every day and not telling her what my sister and friends etc already know, but I think its best for now. Myabe I am a bit chicken! I will be telling my in-laws afterwards though! x

just want to say hope it all goes well when you tell her hun, cant judge the reaction but my mums been telling to have it done for years and helped pay for mine, so im one of the lucky ones really but she's the first person to tell me when something is a stupid idea, - hopefully she will surprise you, but your mum def needs to know x

just to add to that if you didnt tell her and you needed her post op, or if you had to tell her while you recovering, it would be horrendus, def tell her before x

Arg! Just wrote a massive reply and then accidentally shut the tab! The jist of my reply was: thank you all so much for your support, it's really invaluable and I know that even if I didn't tell my mum, I could do it alone knowing I have your help. I agree that telling my mum is necessary though, I'm just scared she believes in all the misconceptions about BAs but I will soon set her straight!

Ballet babe: I would support anyone who decides to tell their parents or not, everyone's circumstances are different. I'd worry about you telling your folks the day before the BA though simply because I think you will have enough nervousness or anxiety to deal with and telling them so soon before surgery might add to this. xxx

I think it's the right thing to do especially as no o e else knows or is there to support you.
I think you'll be surprised that she may just give her support. X

I hope so Mrs Ball. I am slightly freaking out and have decided to wait til after mother's day before telling her because she's going to visit my sister and I don't want to spoil her weekend xxx

Good luck xx

When I told my mum before the op that I wanted to have one, she got SO mad and said i was stupid if I did it, etc, etc. But then I booked and had the op without her knowing (my fiance and best friends knew so I had someone to help me out and who knew about it.
Then over Christmas I told her, and honestly, she was fine! I explained why I did it (slightly tuberous breasts getting worse with age) and she totally understood.
So whatever you feel is best for you is what you should do hunni

xxx

ali

good luck hun, hope it goes well!

i am massively dreading telling my parens so can understand how you feel! x

Thank you girlies. I am starting a new job next week so waiting til I'm a little settled before telling her. All the best Blueeyedsoul. You have everyone's support here so please don't worry chick xxx