Tell Mum

Hi Ladies,
Has anyone been really scared to tell a disapproving mum?? How did you go about it and how did she react?

Its crazy; Im 28 years old, always been very independant and yet Im so frightened to tell her that Im actually going ahead with it and have booked my op!! Ive always said to her that I wanted them done but her response has always been very negative "don't be so stupid" "leave yourself alone" "you're perfect the way you are".

I have to tell her as she notice straight away and would be so upset if i didn't tell her. Its really playing on my mind xx

mine dont agree i just called her and towards end i went oh and i have put u as emergency contact,she said what for i said im having boobs done on 26th she said i dont wana hear anymore,nothing more said. good luck

Have a feeling my mum will react the same, guess I need to prepare myself for that! I guess they will get over it but it's not nice at the time. Have you seen her since, is she ok with you or still coming to terms with it?

Thanks honey x

I sat on my laptop for the past year and 3 months and my mum came round when she realised I wasnt going to stop till I had it done.

Good luck huni, I hope she understands xxx

I just told my mum really casually like it was no big deal. I didn't really give her the chance to have an opinion as I had already made up my mind and booked it so I didn't need anyone's opinion.

I hope it works out ok for you x

I can't say I'm scared of my mum Lisa, but she is a very controlling woman and very critical of all of my life choices..

I just went over and sat mum and dad down together and just told them over coffee.

I did start by telling them that what I had to say wasn't up for discussion and then just blurted it it out that I was having a boob job. You could have cut the atmosphere in the room with a knife that day lol. She didn't say much that day other than to tell me she thought I was being silly and I shouldn't mess with what god gave me and I let her have her moment but told her the decision was already made and I was happy and only told her in the hope that I could have her support though it.

I never got my mums support, instead right up to the day of my surgery I was told every horror story ever imaginable to try and convince me that she knew best.

My parents have never discussed my surgery since, she didn't even call to see if I was OK. But that was fine with me. My parents have a right to their opinion and I'm good with that, I know they aren't happy I had my surgery, but it's done now and that's that... However, when I needed a re-op I chose not to tell my parents at all. I was in such a mess at the time and just couldn't have bared her "I told you so's! and believe me I would have heard that 100 times a day every day lol so I decided not to give her the satisfaction.

Really hoping all goes well for you Lisa. If you feel you 'have' no option but to tell your mum then just be honest with her and try to reassure her that you've done your homework and are in safe hands... this is what is most important to us mums... knowing you're in safe hands.

Good luck sweetheart. please tell us how it goes. xxx

I chose not to tell my mum and dad that I had actually booked and paid for it, my op is friday and although I did tell both of my parents I was thinking about it, I chose to keep it to myself when I actually went ahead and payed for it as I knew my mum would worry more than anything, I would rather her see the benefits after than worry her before, im unsure whether it will be obvious or not so going to make my decision on who I tell after ive had my op, its a very personal thing to you and only you can decide whats best for you xxx

This thread makes me feel lucky I have a mum like I do. When I had my 1st ba, she was one of the first people I told and I actually showed her why I needed one! I never showed anyone my chest. I had a chest like my 10yr old brother! And she actually agreed and said yes I can see why you need/ want it done! Also she was the one looking after my children (2boy at the time as me and ex had split) she actually took time off work to look after them the day I had it done and helped me everyday for the next week or so after. I can't praise her enough. Then when I went in for my 2nd ba, she did question why I wanted to go bigger as she felt I didn't need to but I just told her its my body and my life choices I'm not hurting anyone and it will make me happy. And again she supported me and again had my children this time 3 of them! While my husband took me for the day surgery. She's also looked after my children when I've had my follow up consultations. So I know I'm very lucky to have a supportive mum. Also my dad paid for my 1st ba! I know I'm lucky and I hope you're able to tell your mum, at the end of the day I believe no one should stand in the way of doing what will make you happy, you're not doing anything bad! Xx

I was really worried about telling my mum and she did say ultimately she would prefer that I didn't get it done but once I'd explained everything to her she is supportive of me. I was more worried about telling my mother in law. I felt really insensitive as she's had to have breast reconstruction due to cancer but she's been great.
Sit down and be honest will her, take all the info you have to reassure her, ie info about your surgeon and safety of the implants etc. hopefully she'll understand and be supportive.
Mandy

Have seen her and she was fine I didn't have them on show or anything I just think I'm not going to mention it and not will they,my oh called them after my op as my dad did ask that,my mum nearly died under aesthetic so I think he was worried. My daughter did say to them mum had a boob job and they just said we know,it's my body and my money. Everyone has a opinion but it's how they voice it. My sister is having a nose job so they occupied with that now as she is their princess lol x good luck x

I am also lucky as my mum has been so supportive of me having a boob job and my mum stayed for a week to help look after my son etc. My mum also admitted to me that she is a little jealous and has always wanted to have a boob job!! :-( ...........but i haven't told my dad though but i guess i have some time to tell my dad as I only usually see him a couple times a year so i have about three months till i see him lol

I was really worried and to an extent the thought of it held me back a little!

I text my mum saying "We need to talk" straight after my first consultation so I wouldn't have a chance to chicken out when she got in. She came straight upstairs and I just threw the clinic's booklet at her LOL. Mature I know!

I expected a load of grief about how I'm fine as I am but she was totally understanding. She wanted to be involved to make sure I was going the right way about it and so she took part in research and even had a nosey on here initially. I think by her understanding what it involved helped her sanity too haha.

Remember you are an adult and this is your body and happiness, with or without your Mother's support if this is something you want then go for it and don't waste a second feeling guilty! Maybe after she see's the impact she had on you she'll realise it was all for the best. xx

I didn't tell mine. She'd be very upset and she's seen me several times since and not noticed. I just figure - why give her something else to worry about (oh and I'm 33 by the way LOL) she's just very against any sort of putting foreign materials into your body.

So good luck, but there's really no reason to tell her if you don't want to, I mean I know there's risk with the operation, but if you think she'll be upset, i don't know, i thought i'd rather not give her stress needlessly.

good luck hunni!

xxx

ali

Once you turn 18, it really is a matter of choice isn't it whether you tell your mum or not... I mean, it's your body, your choice and a BA will have absolutely no impact at all on anyone elses life but your own...

When I had my 1st BA, I really felt somehow obligated to tell my mum, but looking back, I wish I hadn't, she put me through a lot on the build up to my BA so I'd in hindsight have just rather her find out on her own, if she were to find out at all and I'd have then crossed that bridge if I had to.

I understand though Lisa what you mean about your mum noticing that you will have gone from nothing to something so you think it's best you tell her now.. but don't feel you have to hun. It's your choice, so just go with what you think is going to make 'you' happiest. If that's telling your mum, then just be honest and reassuring but firm about your decision with her babe. xx

I am one of the lucky ones too, I've always said to my mum that I've wanted one and she has too as she lost her boobs after having us kids, I'm 33 my youngest sister is 25 but she never pursued it she now feels she's too old and she also gets lumps in her breast so she's too paranoid to do it. I booked my consultation and told her after I had been to that and she told my dad they were both fine with it my mum said that she didnt blame me for wanting it done and said she wishes she had done it years ago. I did think they were going to have a little moan though as I said I couldn't afford to go to my sisters wedding then suddenly I booked in for this! But they didn't I think they understood how much it meant to me. When I had my drama of thinking they were too small after my op they were really supportive my mum called me all the time to reassure me I'd be fine, my dads abit of a prudish man when it comes to discussing boobs and periods etc with his daughters but he was relaying messages through my mum saying tell her is she's not happy claim it on the credit card saying you are not happy with the product you got!! Bless him. I see my mum for the first time yesterday and she wanted to see she thought they were great and said they already make a difference and my dad was lifting things about for me.
I think Hun as long as you are happy about it and sure it's what you want it really doesn't matter what others opinions are, I know it's hard because it's your mum but she doesn't have to see them if she doesn't want to and it's about your confidence and how you feel. She may be absolutely fine about it, good luck hunni xx

Thank you all so very much for your posts, and taking the time to telI me your stories, was so surprised to get so much feedback

The thought has never even crossed my mind to not tell her, it's funny I still feel like a 12 year old girl in her eyes and I guess I feel like I am when it comes to her lol hence why it only feels natural to tell her. If I didn't she would be so gutted and I would feel so bad , I think she would get over me getting them done quicker then me not telling her in the first place. I just got to harden up and be strong, this is for me not anyone else. I'm actually going away with her to Italy for a long weekend on the 21st Sept it's for my oldest friends wedding (she had her boobs done and her mum paid) so I'm thinking it maybe a good opportunity to tell her then, what do you think? Or would it ruine her holiday with me xx

Um not sure on that one you don't want to ruin a lovely occasion if she's not happy also there's no escape if your on holiday. Maybe bringing up your friends boobs will give you a insight into her feelings about it. It's a good starting point and easy way to bring the subject up xx

I'm lucky that I can tell my mum anything. She is even paying for me to have my boob job but only if I research more. She was put off after

I didn't finish my post.

She was put off after my consultation.

I don't think the wedding would be the best place to tell your mum either but hope everything goes well when you do tell her

Love Maisy

I'd also wait until you get back. You could point out about your friends boobs but don't make a big deal out of it. THen maybe when you get home you can bring it up again and tell your mum you're doing it.

Good luck and have fun in Italy

I agree with the others lovely. I too think it wouldn't be the best idea to be discussing what might be a very sensitive topic whilst you're away together.


Why not ask your mum out for a meal or something when you get home if you'd prefer to tell her on neutral territory, take some information with you for her to read through so she can see how serious you are about this and how much you've done to ensure you're getting the best for yourself.

With all the recent PIP information being all over the news not so long ago that might stick for some thinking of having a BA, or for the mothers of daughters wanting a BA lol... so having that reassurance will not only show your mum how sensible you're being but also making her feel better knowing her baby is in safe hands.

Enjoy the wedding babe and spending time with your mum. xx

Thank you lovelies, I think you're right I will wait until after, have some quality time just us together which thinking about it hasn't happened since I was really little when my parents split and I stayed with my dad! Do some bonding and hopefully she will take it a bit better when I tell her because just maybe she'll get to understand me as a woman.

I will let you all know once I have told her, fingers crossed for me :)

done for you Lisa! xx

Thank you Cookie

I finally done it girls, I told my mum!!! Me and my OH went round for drinks last night and she caught me and my sister whispering and wanted to be in on our secret lol. So with a little encouragment from my siter and alchol I jut come out with it "I'm having my boods done" like I've always wanted. After I talked to her about why she got a little choked up and cuddled me saying she'll worry but she loves me no matter what and was pleased that I too her and not hide it from her. It was like a massive weight came off my shoulders!! I have had sleepless nights worrying about telling her and now finally I can just get excited about it, yay!!! xx

Oh and I told her all about my lovely support network.... You lovely ladies xxx