Recovery guide for men!

So yesterday I had a bad moment... My hubby turned to me and said with absolutely no hint of sarcasm, "when you're recovering, you can play the wii! I got you that game for Christmas that you never play" he then got quite offended when I laughed at him. (i thought he was making a joke!!...apparently not).

It then hit me that I'm going to be relying on someone who thinks playing Legend of Zelda is a good way for me to heal. This man needs a little guide of what to expect.

Seeing as I don't fully know what to expect myself, that's where I was hoping for your help ladies!

Any tips you would give him to prepare/help when I'm recovering? Please post them and let me know! I shall pass them on. Perhaps I'll write a little checklist and stick it to his forehead along with Legend of Zelda!!

Hey!

Is he taking some time off work to help you?

Well the best I can say is just tell him to be prepared to do most things for you, help you dress, make your dinner, tea, pass you things, lift things for you, brush your hair, run around after you basically, the best tool he will have is patience.

Also I see youre having unders so you may be limited to what you are able to do for quite a while, he may need to help prob you up...possibly girls who have had unders might be able to elaborate on this one.

x

Men eh! haha

Your arms are going to feel very weak at least for the forst few days possibly longer and you're going to be feeling extremely tired so Zeldas going to have to wait, tell him

You're going to have to take things gently early post-op, after about day 2 try getting up and taking a little walk walk around the house to start with gently building up to a nice walk wherever you like to go, walking is fantastic for helping your recovery.

If you have children, especially small ones, your hubbys going to HAVE to take over your role. Absolutely no lifting children!

meal times and cleaning will also be your hubbys responsibility at for weel 1 possibly going into week 2 as well.

The best way your hubby could really help in your recovery is to listen to 'you'. You're the one who will know how your feel, you're the one who will know when you need rest, you're the one who is literally going to follow what your body is telling you throughout your recovery, So listening and allowing you to get through this as trouble and stress free as possible is going to get your hubby megga brownie points for 'after' your recovery

Oh.... and BJSF is a must throughout your recovery too!!! xxx

hahahaha aww your poor hubby

id agree to advising him to be patient .... verrreeeeeeeee patient ... with you. And to expect the unexpected ... maybe some tears even tho you are mega happy - its very emotional. Tell him to expect to get shouted at for nothing at all - then he cant grumble when you do (might).

Definately help with things round the house - things you didnt think would be a problem ... opening jars, flushing the loo etc

Help sitting up in bed too - I had unders as well and I needed a bit of help scooching up the bed if I slid down.

Help to fasten sports bra if a back fastener.

DEFINATELY suggest to him that he offer as much admiration as possible - long lingering looks - maybe drool even - does wonders for you feeling better - BUT only the gentlest of strokes or a very little fondle of appreciation early days cos anything else might have you hit the roof.

xx

Kat4 wrote:
DEFINATELY suggest to him that he offer as much admiration as possible - long lingering looks - maybe drool even - does wonders for you feeling better - BUT only the gentlest of strokes or a very little fondle of appreciation early days cos anything else might have you hit the roof.

xx

LMAO Kat you are hilarious!

Yes the crying, good point.

x

Ah this is a great idea!

My Tips for men would be:

DO NOT TOUCH for me this was even the littlest touch for the 1st 2 weeks at least!

WARN them of the floods of tears you may well be in at some point in the 1st 2 weeks " the boobie blues".......

Remind them you will not be able to cook or clean for at least the 1st week, id try and drag that one out for at least 2-3 weeks thou

and one last thing i would say is tell him not to say " well YOU done this to yourself" when your upset with the "boobie blues" not that you could do anything about it if he did as you cant raise your arms! ( so he is quite safe but still its not nice and yes my hubby & parents said this to me when I was upset about the pain 3 days post-op! )

if I think of anythin else ill add to my list!

xx

Simple things you take for granted, I thought I was prepared - my Mum took a week off do was able to keep up with the cleaning, cooking, tea making but I still struggled.

Stuff I found hard: Flushing the loo, getting in and out of the bath, putting my sports bra on, opening draws, openin doors (I couldn't get into my living room for days without help), even unplugging things like your phone charger, drying your hair, washing your hair.

Just think basically ANYTHING that involves using your arms or chest you're going to struggle with... Infact probably the only thing you will cope with is holding a cup of tea while you change the channel on the TV

Think of things to do such as going out for meals somewhere local, I didn't want to stare at 4 walls all day and would struggle to relax but after you've been out a couple of hours you'll be begging for your PJs! It saves him from cooking if he isn't great at it too x

altw wrote:Infact probably the only thing you will cope with is holding a cup of tea while you change the channel on the TV

hahaha - think you could juuuuuuuuuusssssssssssst about manage to get a small peice of choc to your mouth too - if the bar had been opened and broke into squares! hahahah

definately agree with Crystal on the milking it a bit - why the hell not

oh yeh forgot about personal stuff like

He will have to help you get out of bed in the morning for the 1st few days or week, wash your hair, even help you get dressed at 1st!

I even got stuck on the toilet at one point

I had my dad wash my hair for me int he kitchen sink! lol I had my hubby for a few days look after me, then my dad took a few days off & then my mum had a week off just to help me in the 1st 2 weeks as I was useless & had 4 lovely little ones to look after!

xx

on a serious note the more help you get the quicker you will heal so you need to remember that to..........

I had all that help for the 1st 2 weeks then went and hurt myself by leaning over the cot & picking up my daughter who was a baby at the time.....I didnt think as I felt fine & was 2 week post-op & pulled my stiches & cause a mondors cord & that set me back again for a about 3 days OWCH.......

And I also had a friedn who though she could do it all on her own with out any help from her OH & pulled her stiches & caused herself a major infection, she then had to go & stay with her mum for 2-3 months to get over the damage she caused herself in the 1st 3 weeks she should have been healing

So its very important that you do get lots of help

xx

This is all extremely helpful stuff thank you! Not just for hubby but for me too it's a little hard knowing what to expect and I'm a bit nervous as they're going under as well.

Just in answer to a couple of the q's above... Hubby is working from home for a week, then my mum will be helping out the week after. After that I'm on my own again...I've got a 10 month old son who I won't pick up for 2 and a half weeks but after that I won't have much choice during the day. Hoping I'm recovered enough by then to be able to handle him

Keep the suggestions coming!! It's all very helpful xxxxxxx

I had unders and remember going food shopping with my husband about a week po and couldnt even pack the food !! felt a lazy pig just stud there as he had to do it all!!!and then put it away when we got home !! xxx

I would be very careful about how your picking him up, im sure my aftercare said no heavy lifting for the 1st 6 weeks?

Like I said I lifted my little one who didnt weigh alot & pulled myself & it hurt at 2 weeks post op so I would just be very carefull and make sure you are aware of the strain on your boobs when you lift him......
After pullin mine 2 weeks post op I have to recover again for 3 days then I went back to only lifting my little one if I really really had to e.g in the morning to get her outta the cot & evening to get her back in, & some times I even got me friend from next door to help me lift her if she could......

xx

Crystal wrote:I would be very careful about how your picking him up, im sure my aftercare said no heavy lifting for the 1st 6 weeks?

I was told no lifting him for 4 weeks originally, the longest I could arrange somebody to be there 24/7 for me was 2 and a half weeks. I spoke to my PS last week about it who said as long as I'm careful I should be ok and he didnt seem overly worried about it.

I'm going to do little things like bring his changing mat downstairs and feed him on a picnic mat on the floor so lifting is kept to a minimum. Really hoping that's enough! Xx

Ooooh sunshinelady I just noticed your ticker! ONE day to go

hope youve given your bloke his list of dos and donts

best of luck for your big day!

Whatever u do don't rush things Hun if ur hubby won't do sun thing leave it and rest lots!a week without doin housework is not gunna hurt and don't Hoover for at least 4 weeks or iron! At least u have a good excuse not to do these things lol. Good luck for tomorrow I hope everything goes great for you and enjoy ur day xx

Haha sunshinelady, I found your post really funny!! With us it's the opposite. I wanted to play wii and he said "no" and hid it for me. Hmm as for your hubby, try to go for post-op visits on your own so then you can tell him "the surgeon told me not to do any ironing, cooking, washing, etc." and then whatever happens blame it on the surgeon

Sorry for spamming but I just thought of something that could help... why don't you show him a gory video of a BA procedure?? Tell him "this is what I'm gonna go through and it's reaaally reaaally painful" (even though it isn't I promise!)

the BEST thing my BF did for me during recovery was washing me. I was able to just stand there in the shower and not move my arms at all. Of course he probably wasn't as thrilled with the situation as he couldn't touch the newbies

i could pretty much figure out how to do everything without lifting my arms by day 3, but I'd have felt awfully skanky without a bath!

(Of course, some docs say no bath for a while - sorry to those girlies )

xxxx

ali

Also just noticed - you're having unders....PLEASE be careful. I don't know why your doctor wasn't telling you to be careful - I wasn't supposed to lift anything for at least 4 weeks that was over 5 pounds....

My nurse told me to pretend my elbows were glued to my ribs - I could move my forearms and hands all I wanted but to keep my elbows at my sides would prevent hematoma (which is not fun as some girls on here can tell you). Overs are different - but unders can be a slightly longer healing cause you use the muscle for everything!

good luck girlie!

xxxxxx

Thank you Hun! I'm trying to get more help for the bubba so fingers crossed it all comes together! Your avi looks great btw :flowers: xx

Thx so much hun! This has been absolutely the best experience of my life - wish I'd done it 10 years ago - just take it super-easy and enjoy it!!