Going it alone!

Just wanted to know if any of you have gone through the day of the BA op on your own?

My husband is self employed and had told his business partner that he needed the day of the op and the day after off. However, he doesn't want his business partner to know I'm having the op (?!) and his partner has now asked him to do an important job on those two days. I can't change the date of the op, I'm a teacher and only have those two weeks off. I didn't book it for during the summer holidays because that is the busiest time for my husband business and I knew he wouldn't be around then.

I'm gutted, do I go through it on my own (my parents are on holiday) or insist he takes the time off, do we tell his partner about the op?! I think it will obvious that I have had the op, I'm having 450cc so won't be easy to hide away. I don't care who knows about the BA but my husband thinks that his partner will judge me. We are very close to his partner and wife having known them since school and they can be very judgmental.

What should I do?! I have been so excited about my op :(

I had my op on my own, I think it depends on how much you feel you need your husbands support or if you'll be able manage for 24hrs without him. The nurses will take good care of you. Where are you having your op? will your husband be able to visit after work? are you staying in overnight? will he be able to pick you up the next day?

I was really excited to be having my op and wasn't too nervous, had my husband been there he would have annoyed the hell out of me, fidgeting and being bored so I was better on my own, I just chilled reading magazines and my book, the time flew by and the nurse took me to the operating theatre chatting as we went. When I was back in my room I just kept drifting in and out of sleep so would have been a bit pointless hubby being there. When I needed something I had to call the nurse which was a bit of a pain but it's what there there for, I couldn't lift my water jug so everytime I wanted a drink I had to keep ringing the bell! It's not long that you're in for and for me it was the looking after once you get home that was more important.

Thanks Sugarplum.

I'm really independent and do a lot on my own, my husband works away a lot. I am sure that I will be ok on the day of the op but it's the day after that I'm worried about too. I'm having my op near Liverpool and my husband will be working in London so won't be able to visit nor will he be able to bring me home the next day. My op is in the afternoon so I will be staying over. I'm sure a friend can bring me home and stay with me but it's a lot to ask, I've already had to organize another friend to look after my 3 year old. I don't have any brothers or sisters to help out either. I don't imagine my husband will be home until the following day.

Oh I don't know what to do :(

I agree,

My partner can't get the day off but he's doing an early shift the day of the op so he can come and see me after and he's doing a late shift the next day so he can take me home

He'd just get bored and grumpy if he was there for the op - and he'd wory. Better to keep him busy :p

trouble is if you do change the day then something else might come up on the new day! It would be hard to change the day and soooo disappointing.

As you said, you are fairly independant as your OH works away a lot, mine too - he was with me for the day and day after but then had to work away. I was happy for the time to get my head around the new me - oh and the time to slob about too if im honest. Im guessing the friend who is minding your three year old is a good one and so am sure she would be happy to help a little more - you would for her right??

As for your OH's business partners - its nothing to do with them what you are having done, none of their business! If they dont like it and comment negatively then they are not the friends you thought they were! If you think OH could get the time if he told them about your op he could just say its a ladies op and personal but that you need him and he needs to be with you.

xx

I'm doing it alone. I'm going to London the day before, staying in hotel overnight, then going to hospital in the morning. I'm spending the day alone there and staying at hospital overnight, and DH doesn't come to get me until day after my op. He works the night before my op, and takes care of the kids the day of op. It's just the way it is. I'll keep myself busy reading and watching tv, plus he'll probably be more be more nervous than me so it's just as well.

As for DH's partner and wife, well I'll try to be polite, but it's sometimes hard. It's none of their business, and if they have a problem with it then they're not worth the bother on a more than professional level.

My husband told those at his work he neede a couple of days off because i was have a ladies op !!!!they never asked what then just how i was after it !!!xxx

Thanks for the support ladies. Thankfully a good friend is now able to bring me home the day of the op, guess I'll just have to go it alone on the day itself.

I know that if my DH business partner knew about the BA then he would understand the need for the two days off but my DH really doesn't want him to know and won't lie to him saying the op is for another reason. I dont care if he knows, like I said earlier I think it will be obvious! Should I just tell my DH to tell his business partner? They have been friends for 20 years, but as I said earlier he can be very judgmental.

It's kind of taken the edge off my excitement :(

I had my op alone, it was an overnight and my friends came to pick me up the next day, really enjoyed it and wasnt a problem. But when you get home it's nice to have someone there to help you, its difficult to do soooo many little things
xxx

I'm sort of going alone ! I only live 10 miles from the hospital so I will be leaving my house alone and hubby will be getting kids off to school then getting a cab to me so we havent got 2 cars there but I've got a little problem MY LITTLE BOY!!! He come out of pre school at 1 o'clock so hubby's gonna have to leave me to pick him up and thay say no children allowed at the hospital !! So that's why I say Im sort of going alone ( might try and sneak him in under his coat and gag him while in there lol

I think if your DH doesn't want to tell his business partner and you don't mind going without him, then you should respect that he doesn't want to tell him.

If you really really want him there than you should talk to him about telling his Bpartner - like you say, he'll probably find out afterwards!

xx