HOW DO I HANDLE IT???

As you guys know I have not told a soul apart from my partner and my sister. The reason being my family, especially my mother would be very upset/dissapointed from a religious point of view. My friends will have alot to say.

Amongst my relatives and friends I've always been the one that stays in line. The one you can bet wont do anything drastic. The one that always pleases. Imean my sister had a BA 6mths ago and no one had much to say as she's has always been the one to dissapoint but when i do it, i can imagine the reactions ill will get.

I do believe that this is my life and I am in my 30s with children. I am definately not here to please people anymore and I am doing this for me. I Should not have to answer to anyone but believe me when I say they will insist.

The easy option would be to deny anthing of the sort, but why should I? Anyway denying wouldn't work as my hieght is 5,8 and I weigh 8st. Im gonna look like a pencil with two water melons (slight exaggeration)

My point is I am easily aggitated when confronted by people and I would like to be able to handle the negativity without letting my tongue go. I would like to keep my stress levels at zero instead of one million.

Its doing my head in. Thought i'd share it wid y'all

I'm not very good at keeping quiet and walking away from confrontation so am probably the wrong person to ask haha xx

If you want zero stress then don't tell them I guess.....saves any hassle then, if they ask then just deny it and move on......ATEOTD it is ntohing to do with anyone else xx

xx

Oh Hun. I can totally relate to you. I am the same in my family. always the one to tow the line and wanting to please. So far pretty much everything in my life has been by the book, because I didn't want to disappoint. for me I have a very liberal Mum (my best friend!) but it's other members of the family that seem to have an influence over her/us that has meant I haven't been able to tell them about my BA. I have told everyone else though because I am fairly confident it won't get back to them and to be honest if it does then I will deny it and blame it on a very good Gel bra!

However, like you said we are adults with children and I have to say I have had a great reaction from everyone else......friends have been fantastic as have my close family that know. You only get one shot at life and It has totally changed the way I feel about myself which has to be the most important thing.

good luck sweet xxx

My point exactly. Theres only one way to tell someone (mind ur own business) and I dont want to be drawn out of retirement. These days I try to remain calm about most things because I suffer from a neurological condition. one of my major symptoms is mood swings, whether pysical or verbal.

Since im very aware of this im trying to avoid the inevitable. Just wish family and friends would do the same.

Thanks anyways hun xx

Thanks Jojo6 much appreciated xx

You're welcome huni. It's always hard when you haven't got total support behind you. Just remember its your life and you have to be happy xxx

My Mum would accept I am doing this but there would be disappointment initially and even at 32 her disappointment is so cutting, people don't understand how important her acceptance is to me. I have told various people I am having a BA but not my Mum, especially with all the furore around PIPs at the moment if she does accept it she will only worry.

I went round to see her today for the last time with small boobs. I wore my triple gel la senza bra with the straps done up tight to give me maximum boobage and her only comment was this weightloss regime is working for you, your figure is looking lovely. She seems to have assumed I have kept my boobs and my waist is smaller than it actually is. She is going over to Ireland for 6months from Feb so hopefully by the time I see her again I will be all healed , I am sure she will notice when she sees my summer holiday pics but she may not comment and I plan to wear to sports bra to squish them when I see her in person. Not sure if any of this is helpful to you but thought I would share in case it is.

Can't help other than that, sorry x

starjem you sound just like me apart from the religion bit. My mum knows I've been to see the surgeon but asked her not to tell my dad yet as they both said I was mad when I went for first consultation. I think mum's coming round to the idea now though. But as for anyone else, my eldest daughter knows, my boss, one friend and one friend/colleague. The latter went with me to the first consultation and said 'you're mad!!'

I go off like a bottle of pop!! That's probably why I do have high blood pressure lol.

I'm doing it for me!! and for no one else. I deserve to feel sexy again and be happy with myself. I wish you all the luck and forget what anyone else thinks. You be happy!!!

Aurora, my plan exactly. Im gonna try to disguise it as best as I can from my mother. Last year some time i told her Im gonna think about it for a year. She said everything negative under the sun which I expected. I can just about tolerate it from my mother. Anyone else and they've had it.

hlt67, I feel the same. Im tired of being the people pleaser. Its my time to be happy and do what I want for me.

Thank you guys sooo much for your feedback and believe me you have been very helpful. Its good to talk

Im planning on using the following excuses:

- Ive put on weight

- changed my contraceptive pill

- Wearing a good Bra!

And if they dont work i'll use - Its actually none of your business!!

xxx

just make excuses hun, unless someone rips ur clothes off to look for the scar, no-one can PROVE it. Just let them wonder, they'll soon get bored of asking, just keep giving the same excuses.

xxxx