Why i cant tell my mum...

So just thought i'd share this as i'm kinda shocked! I was just sat drinking a cuppa with mother when she starts talking about a 'gross' woman at work who 'always has her boobs on show' she then went on to say 'god knows why people want them made bigger, if i could take a pill to make them shrivell up i would' WTF!! i didn't say a word but omg if only she knew what i had planned. Is it me or is that just really strange!

to me thats strange .. but then i would pressume your mum has boobs .. i have non exsistant aa and i quite literally would do anything now to have a pair of boobs to feel like a woman,
i have had the same sort of opinion said to me like what your mum said by so many friends but they again all have boobs and dont know what it feels like

but after all its about YOU no one else! and if it makes u happy then i would just tell her, its taken my mum a good 6 months to bring round to knowing how much it affects me and how much i want boobs. even though it has affected me for years

xxx

Ah yes, may be an awkward thing to have to tell her! haha i think this is just down to how different women feel towards there breasts, my mum has no feelings either way towards them but she does say they're more hassle than they're worth?! i guess we all have different opinions on what is necessary and what isn't, clearly your mum doesnt think breasts are needed.
Will your mum not notice after you've had your op?....or is it a case of it being too late for her to say anything by then? x

i feel for u, tellimg my mum was hard and i did it cos all my sisters told me she would be upset if she knew i hadnt told her....so i did, the day before my op!!! lol, and suprisingly she was fine about it. Try not to be upset by ur mums reaction to the lady at work, if she knew what u were planning, she prob wouldnt have phrased it like that. and by the sounds of it, she doesnt like this woman much, so that my b a reason for her reaction. if u decide to tell her, just say how un happy ur boobs make u!! If u want them done, do it!!! its for you, and you only!!! xx

Babe i havent told either of my parents- my dad is very 'ex-marine' and doesnt take any girly things seriously so there was no point even going there, and my mum lives ages away so i barely see her and we arent close!

I suppose if she has boobs then i can understand its kinda like i dont have much of a bum and i hate that, but i have friend that have big bums and all they do is complain about em x the only difference is im not getting butt implants haha xxx

Do you think it's at all possible your mum has any idea of your surgery?

This may well be her way of breaking the ice possibly so she can talk to you about it?

The surgery is for you hun and you don't owe it to anyone to discuss it with them and if you'd rather not discuss your surgery with your mum then that's your decision and you should stick with it babe.

However, if you want to talk about it with her and now feel anxious based on what she said, then just do it hun, your mum will get over it and she'll be just fine.... She may try and talk you out of it, but her reasons will only be out of concern for you, once you explain how you feel and your reasons I'm sure even if she's not agreeable with you having this surgery, she'll be there for you anyway. xx

Hi Hun

I agree with Cookie us Mum's have a way of trying to broach a subject without actually doing it!!!

I found it hard telling my Mum and Dad years ago when I first decided to have a BA and I got all the "oh don't be silly" and "why would you put yourself through it you're lovely" etc. I stuck to my guns and showed them I wasn't being "silly" and I did a lot of research etc first. Funny enough it was my Dad who I remember eventually telling me that he understood why I needed to do it.

This time round (my 3rd due to various complications) I found my Mum to be fairly ok about it but she didn't really want to talk about it etc. When I got to the hospital however there was a lovely bouquet of flowers in my room wishing me luck from my parents and since I've got home they've been very supportive.

We're a funny bunch us parents!!! xxxxx

Thanks for all your replies ladies. I did wonder when she sais it whether she has somehow found out about my ba plans. Dont think she could of though as i've not even had any post regarding it. All been done via email and she cant work computers. Yeah i suppose itis just different opinions, shes always had boobs so to her they are prob just annoying. I'm not going to tell her though, she wouldn't understand and would just think i was a silly tart or something. My parents are very old fashioned and conservative. I'm just gonna have to go through this alone and hope they dont notice after! Im only having 300 from a 32A/small B so hope it wont be too obvious. God i hope she doesn't know! It was a weird thing to come out with.xxx

Oh Hun isn't it a shame you can't get their support.

If you do decide to tell her then stay strong and don't be made to feel that you're doing anything wrong.

You're certainly not a "tart" for wanting a nice shape hun so don't let anyone ever make you feel that way xxxx

LOL this reminds me of when i was plucking up the courage to tell my mum that i was thinking of having a B.A, i was really nervous as she doesnt really approve of things like that and thinks that everyone should be happy with what theyve got (she has small boobs and loves them)

So we had my family round one day and my auntie has had a secret ba and none of my family except me n my sister no about it.
My sister who knew how scared i was of telling my mum said to her oh im thinking of getting a boob job btw what do you think..?
We live in essex and my mums reply was 'but its so essexy! they always look so fake and horrible and CHAVVY!!!' hahaha so me my sister and my auntie are all trying not to laugh because my mum has never even realised that shes had a BA!!! Good it is cringey thinking about it now my mum would be mortified if she knew and was saying these things in front of her lol!

in the end i just said it was me thinking of having it done and she was actually pretty fine about it. not over the moon but she didnt dissaprove as i thought she would.

Good luck!!

:flowers:

Oh Gosh I understand.
I haven't told my parents yet. I did tell them that I was considering it, and like you they started going all 'oh you don't need it, you're perfect as you are etc'. Dismissed as a joke. Ignore this. It is YOU who should feel perfect with yourself.
I will certainly find it very embarrassing when they finally find out. And they will, I was nearly flat before, it's not like I went from C to D, this makes quite a difference to my figure.
It is one of the biggest tests of grown-upness, the ability to stand by your decisions when your parents don't disapprove, and I have to say so far I haven't scored very well on this test myself, I decided to go ahead in secret rather than discuss it, but now it is done, and well they can't do anything about it so they better deal with it. The embarrassment will last only about 30 seconds by the way. Once they realise that it's a done deal they'll shut up pretty quickly and focus on something else!

I just told my Mum last night about my up at coming BA. It was going to be a very touchy subject, but I didnt want to go under the knife without her knowing.
I must have drawn the short straw when Mother Nature was giving out Boobs in our Family as everyone else is either a C or D. I have been the butt of many jokes over the years none of then knew how it really effected me.

My mother is the only girl in her family never to have had Breast Cancer, so i knew that this was going to be a very touchy subject.

After a glass of wine I finally picked up the phone last night and told her. To my shock and surprise she was really supportive, I didnt need to relay my prepared speach to her. She is even goning to come and stay a few days with me to take care of me, and now is offering advice on her favorite M&S support bra.

My point is, I always thought that my mother would be so against it as a result of the family history and if it's not broke dont fix it approach, I was very suprised at her reaction, and am glad that I will now go to my BA knowing that she will be looking for a good look when I get home.

Oh Tillywoo I'm so pleased you now have this extra support for you upcoming surgery

Thanks so much Yettiricey,

Was lovely and completley unexpected, but so glad I have her support.
Now if the pre-op nightmares would stop so I could sleep I think I'd be grand. 12 more sleeps, I will be a bag of nerves come BA Day

Kat86 wrote:So just thought i'd share this as i'm kinda shocked! I was just sat drinking a cuppa with mother when she starts talking about a 'gross' woman at work who 'always has her boobs on show' she then went on to say 'god knows why people want them made bigger, if i could take a pill to make them shrivell up i would' WTF!! i didn't say a word but omg if only she knew what i had planned. Is it me or is that just really strange!

Ah Kat my mum always said similar things she has boobs and was always saying she wished she had small nice ones like mine ha ha ha and that she couldnt understand people who had cosmetic surgery BUT NOW SHE DOES :)

I didnt tell her till after my op but she was so surprisingly brilliant after getting head round it, it was lovely to see her doing a u turn cos she loves me so much now she totally understands why i did it and loves my boobs :) when i first showed her she described them as "Smashing" bless her

I honestly wish id taken the plunge and told her before then she couldve supported me and looked after me afterwards :)

You might be surprised by her reaction after all she loves you unconditionally :)

ive always wanted a BA so from an early age my mum knew but she always said wait until you're 21, just incase they grow. So i waited and waited and as i hit my 21st birthday and felt the same so i started doing some research, and then started bombarding my mum with questions like, "How do you think this will feel" or "i wonder what this is like" etc. once i had totally decided what i wanted, she confessed that when i was 2 years old she had a BA but didnt want to tell me incase it swayed my decision! She has helped me through everything and i couldn't imagine going through it without her. It breaks my heart to think you can't have the same.
Talking about someone in public, we tend to be more harsh than normal. if your mum knew it was you that wanted surgery maybe her reaction would be different. like many girls have said she loves you unconditionally, don't feel afraid to talk to her. I wish you the best of luck with everything xx