Im back again

Hi ladies,

Hope you're all well.

Im not new to this forum - have been on here twice in the past 2 years where i have been wanting to get a boob job but just never made it through with my decision. yet im back once again, really wanting it but soooo scared :pale:

All the ladies here have been so supportive and really thank you all for that, and i dont want to be the girl wasting anyones time by not going through but really just want to talk to someone who understands. And know whether anyone has been through consultations and bookings and then backing out both times but still wanting it??

1 of my many concerns is my family not knowing about me getting it, but feel i will get away with that with my mums help by just saying im having a medical op (i know its not nice to lie but only option in this case) oh and i live with them!

im sick of trying to find a padded bra ones like i used to have and just want to be normal and not find bra shopping so hard as well as be confident when taking clothes off rather than a child in front of a guy!!

Will i always have these doubts about things going wrong? ive never had an operation so dont know what to expect...were u ladies 100% when you went for it? when will i know if its the right time?

I went through alot of stress this year in April time when i was booked up but backed out, as a result i suffered severe hairloss which has just got better now. so this is a serious thing for me but very stressful :(

xxx

Hiya, I wanted a ba for 20 years, and last feb I was finally ready, I hadnt been to any consults or anythign but as soon as I did I knew it was right. So in answer to your question, you will know when you are 100% sure, because you will go through with it. You are better to put of off half a dozen times chick than do something your are not absolutely sure about xx

thanks for your reply Phoebe...makes me so sad that i cant make my mind up and everytime i book i look at the negatives and what might go wrong.

I WISH i had the courage to do this. i really want to but something holds me back :dunno:

i was a stressful mess that the surgeon turned me away last time saying you are not ready for surgery. i want to be 100% before i go back to him this time. so i keep reading the positive stories on this forum which help xxx

I too wanted one for many years, but decided to wait until after I had children. One of the things that worried me was telling people too. My advice would be to discuss this with your family rather than hide it. I think that will be very difficult if you live with them, not to mention stressful!

You may be surprised about their reaction. Tell them how its affecting you. Tell them that even if they don't necessarily think its a great idea, you feel its something that will make you happy and ask them to support you and be happy that you are happy.

I was most nervous about telling my dad! He has strong opinions about being healthy and as nature intend. He has also recently be diagnosed with prostate cancer and will need an op. So I felt awful about telling him I was voluntarily putting myself through surgery for vanity's sake! But he was GREAT! He didn't change his mind that he doesn't think I need it, its not natural and all the other reasons against, BUT he did say he would support me and said that its my body and my life and I have every right to do as I please and he wants me to be happy. A great reaction and gave me confidence to go ahead, and he helped me during my recovery to look after my two girls.

Not everyone reacts well....I have a few friends, one in particular who has stopped talking to me. But that is her issue. And Im still glad I told her.

Having this surgery is nothing to be ashamed of. If you really want it and long for the day that you do not have to worry about padded bras and the right clothes - surgery may be the right option for you. It maybe that you are more worried about the secret that you will have to keep hidden, not the actual surgery...

My advice is to share your feelings with the people close to you.

One thing I did was read what could go wrong once, and everything I read I knew I would be able to cope with, I didnt then focus on the negatives again only the positives. I have been a memner of this forum for about 10months and most of the stories I have read have been postive. I havent looked back since I had my ba, just wished I hadnt had to wait until I was 36 before I did it x

Awww hunni c'mere

As Phoebe said, you'll know when the time is right hun. Lots of women have taken years to come to the decision that the timing was right for them and you're not wasting our time babe, we're only to happy to support you if you need us hun. It's definately not something that should be rushed into at all and if we can offer you anything at all to help with your decision babe - we're here for you. xxx

I appreciate what Jem said as she has a very good point. But I am in a simialr position to you, very few people know about mine including my mum. I have told everyone that I was at my friends (she knows) and after a few drinks fell into her table and damaged my ribs. By the way this story started out way more elaborate, but I realised the simpler I kept it the easier it would be to carry off. They dont bandage ribs and all your given is painkillers and it takes appox 6 weeks to recover. I am 10 days post op and no-one has questioned this. Also they have the understanding of my restrictions and as my job is physical this gives me reasons to do light duties.
Like the other girls said you have to feel happy with the choices you make, you dont owe any of us explainations for not having gone though it yet and you may or may not make it through this time. But the great thing about this forum is that when and if, you do or dont, the support network stays the same xxx

honestly thank you so much for replying all you ladies - i really do appreciate you all very much lol, this might sound funny but i actually get emotional reading this as you all understand and dont think im stupid. last time i backed out my friend who is like a sister to me said you are pathetic and that i should have gone ahead with it! i mean thats just her nature to be abrupt and upfront with her opinions so i wasnt so hurt by it, but it was only this forum i could really put my thoughts across - so i really thank you all.

Jem - thats really cool you plucked the courage to talk to your dad about it, and you're right maybe 75% of backing out is to do with the fact that i have to hide this from family. So i live with mum dad and older bro. mum knows, bro and dad - i couldnt even imagine talking to them. this will be alien to them, and will be like who are you doing this for, and i just couldnt talk about my breasts to them - i come from an Indian family and it just wouldnt go down so well :pale:

Im 24 years old now, i have always been self consious about having small boobs and starting researching BA at age of 22. i have booked and backed out twice in these 2 years. my main fear is (although i dont have much there at the moment) i dont want my op to go wrong and suffer & regret loosing what i had - i know im thinking negative but why do i do that...its annoying.

i really wish like i could be shown the path and know i will be fine. im a small girl, 5ft 2, 45kg, size 6-8, 30b but wear 32a as hard to get 30b...and only want an increase where i dont have to wear heavily padded bras and look like that naturally. have been recommended 240cc and 260cc - think i would rather be smaller than bigger so will go for 240cc. im at that point where i think this year 2010 hasnt been great health wise as i went through alot with hairloss, im hoping 2011 will be positive and pray i get through with BA this time.

i was in la senza today wishing i could buy normal bras!! will that day ever come. have any of you girls been stressed about BA? how do you deal with the stress? thats the most difficult part, really start to stress about what may go wrong. i mean i understand it wont be a breeze, but am i going to be in abit of state pain wise after operation? just wanna be happy and get on with life!

pebbles - great to hear you are getting on well. if i go ahead with this i wll just say getting a cyst removed and nothing to worry about. i work in an office so dont lift anything but i will plan 2weeks off.

i wish someone would just hold my hand through this - guess its a little harder as im single and dont have that support you'd get from other half.

xxxx

Hiya hunnie, well, we'll all hold your hand through this and give you any emotional support that you need.
As for negatives, it is best to be aware of any possible pitfalls, but once I was aware of them I put them to the back of my mind and simply concentrated on the positives - and at that point it became an exciting journey which I knew was oh so right for me and I couldn't wait for my admission and operation date to arrive..
With respect to your question regarding pain post operatively, unfortunately it is impossible to answer for it depends an awful lot on your own threshold to pain. In my own particular case, I guess I am fortunate in that the only real pain I had was the backache caused through sleeping on my back in that inclined way which we have too. There was also some soreness and tightness in the first few days - but that was discomfort more than actual pain and I managed to go through this without having to resort to any pain relief tablets whatsoever. So if you have a high or good threshold to pain, you should be able to sail through it with a big broad smile on your face. If you have a lower threshold to pain you will need some pain relief to carry you through - but you will probably still have that big smile on your face knowing that your 'problem' has been corrected.
But never worry about wasting our time hunnie, every single member of these forums will give you the emotional support you need, whatever you decide to do.
xx

Hay rk19,

I've wanted a BA since I was about 16 - 17 and started looking into it more at 18 - 19 I went to a consultation also which I took no further - At that time I was also living with my parents and for me it was the fear of telling then and the fear that something might go wrong and how would I explain this to them, I guess I would feel like I would let them down.

Since that one I had moved out and was renting and felt in more of a position to go ahead with surgery being totally independent, however at the same time I was also looking to buy my own home and after much thinking this had to take priority in my life, I also had a consultation that didn't go so well.

So here I am again saving up (now 23) what I am doing at the moment is lots more research while I am trying to save the money and who knows if when I do have my consultation I will go ahead this time! I think you need everything to be 100% in your head before anything goes ahead so take your time.

I am also single and yes it would be nice to have someone but I also in a strange way feel like I don't want to meet anyone until the surgery is done, as my past boyfriends would always put me off. Its very hard for loved ones to accept your willing going to put yourself through surgery.

So I am kind of in the same boat in some ways I've never booked anything but I think that's because I am quite tight! lol. Since until now I have always had more than enough money for surgery yet I did not go through with it! It is very strange but I just don't think I was ready.

Hopefully as you say 2011 will be a better year for you and you can get your head around things, weigh up the pro's and cons and see if surgery is going to be right for you and if its worth the possible risks.

I've found its really easy to stress about having a BA there is just no one set path and you just seem as if you put your 'life' (sorry a bit dramatic) in one surgeons hands! but again with good research this shouldn't be a problem and it sounds like you've already found the surgeon you may want?

In the meantime treat yourself in the sales to make yourself feel better! That's what i've been doing today - but then I realise that could of gone in my boobie fund! DOH!

Sorry this turned into a rant just wanted to let you know your not alone!

As the lady above me say`s you truely are not alone hun. I`m 39 and first went to my GP age 19 for help and advice (1990) and was totally dismissed and wished i`d never gone. She was horrid and basically told me in not so many words not to waste her time. I never even filled an a cup and age 39 still didn`t but now much maturer and very strong minded after 2 children and own business went all guns blazing to my GP my time had come. This one was lovely and gave me names of nhs used (private) surgeons. I didn`t want to chicken out so looked them up as soon as i got home and e mailed the one i like the look of most and the following week met him, 3 weeks later all over and i`m now 4 weeks post op and like another lady said i wish i had had it done much sooner maybe by 30 but hey ho iv`e done it!.
I have only told my very close friends and family, like Jem very worried about my dad as i`m an only child and he still treats me like a litttle girl. Once i first explained how i felt and for how long he looked at me and said you go for it girl you only live once and it must be safe that Jordan keeps having it done!. It was such a relief. I had 300cc and dressed i look just how i did in my gel bra`s so friends i saw ( male too) last thurs noticed no difference but i know there was no padding what so ever just a new busty bird!. i had never had a op knocked out too it was an absolute doddle ( i was worried on the run up but not on the day too excited). You will know if you are really ready and we are here to help you all the way x

Hiya hun, just wanted you to know that you are not alone in the way you feel about surgery. It is a big deal and you need to be sure you are making the right decision. I am also living at home with my parents and older brother, i don't feel i can tell them what i am doing. My mum would totally freak out and my dad and brother well i just wouldn't feel comfortable talking to them about my boobs. I'm going to book my ba soon, hopefully for early feb. I too have had lots of doubts, what if...blah blah but i just thought i am not happy with my body now and have never been so its time to do something about it. Otherwise i will never be happy with myself and be able to wear all the clothes i want and be confident.Theres a risk with everything in life but sometimes you just gotta go for it. So many people gave this op and are delighted with the results and wish they had done it sooner. I wasn't sure wether to do this or not but i just realised i think of nothing else so i must want it bad lol. I tried on my water boobies today with my favourite tops and they looked so nice and my clothes actually fitted properly. Try it, it will make you smile. I just can't wait til i dont need to hide how flat chested i am anymore. All i can suggest is to research as much as you can and read all the stories/diaries on here and only you will know if its the right thing for you or not. And remember we are all here to support you! Sorry to go on hope this all makes sence! xx

Talking to all you girls on this forum really helps bring the positives in mind knowing all of you are just getting on with life well and healthy after BA. When many ladies say they'd wished they had done it sooner, that really makes me think i would love to do it now as i know i want it so why wait!

thevisionoflife - hun i completely understand what you mean about wanting to meet someone after the surgery now - to be honest i prefer that also and if im doing it soon id rather not met anyone yet as i woulnt want them to see my flat chest and see my insecurity! im a confident person but being small boobed really lets me down also just wanted to say well done for doing all you felt wasa priorty over getting a BA, and glad you are getting there with your savings :thumbs: sure you will be thrilled as you seem to know its the right thing for you. Yes im pretty much sure on which surgeon i will be going to - Dr Rajan Uppal, hes based in Winsdor which is very close to me, and hes the surgeon i have been back and fourth with, who never pressured me into surgery AT ALL. So i feel hes not after the money and does take into account how i felt as an individual. I will only go back after making my mind up 100% this time as i think he got abit annoyed with my nuisance last time, and guess i wasted his time.

Kat86 - oh hun i really know what you feel, we are in the same boat i guess. how are you going to hide from family? Im planning on saying minor op to bro and dad. mum will know so that'd be helpful. what is water boobs?? like a rice test?

Well after all your replies and talking to mum yet again i really know i want this - im well informed about what can go wrong, and for some reason i continue worrying about that. i dont think i will ever be 100% as im a worrier by nature! So i will continue to read other peoples stories and carry on researching. its good to know im not alone in feeling this way and all you lovely women are willing to hold my hand through this

I do quite alot of travel from work, so im planning to get my BA done end of Jan 2011 if i make my mind up soon, as i will then be travelling again in March so would like to have enough time to recover. I will keep you all posted on how this goes for me this time. And good luck to all you pre-ba girls xxxxxx

Hay Hun,

Thanks, your sounding more positive already!

Your surgeon sounds just what you need, I've been to consultations where they just want your money and it was a real put off. And when you ask questions like "what happens if something goes wrong" and they say "what could go wrong!" So I think you've found a good one.
So handy what with them being so close, at least you'll have your mum helping out.

Would love to hear how you get on so keep us informed.

Good Luck x

most certainly will keep you all posted hun...i know sounding positive already - but even before ive had my positive days and then the negativity! i will have to make things different this time though.

i mean i havent even found a decent gel bra that looks right on me in this past year - they all look so wrong on me as the gel padding isnt in shape with my body! so it must be time to make that move right, i need to stop worrying about being able to buy bras.

yes i do feel this surgeon is right for me, its the aftercare bit that worries me with these private surgeons...he says if anything were to go wrong it would be in the first fews weeks and he will sort it out free of charge. but getting this in writing is another thing right. i actually met someone on another forum who has had a BA with him and she is thrilled and had no probs which makes it sound positive - but then comes down to being different for every individual... :dunno:

wish i would just get this done with quickly!! xxxxx

Yeah aftercare is something that is a worry with me also, Big name places seem to offer years but more private don't seem to offer a lot.

I am looking to go with spire and the surgeon who I am looking to go with do 6 weeks, so big worry if something goes wrong and you have to pay to go and see them again! Capsular contracture is my biggest fear for some reason - think its because it can happen at anytime. But I keep thinking I am not happy now with my breast so its worth the risk, we don't have a crystal ball and like you say its all down to the individual!.

ha ha I know what you mean about gel bras, I've lived in the same two padded bras for years now! (I do wash them! lol) and I cant even look at buying any more because I keep thinking I am going to have my BA soon! I even sold a lot of my old hardly worn bras on ebay to make way for the bigger ones!.

ahhh if only it was all as simple! but its better to be realistic about the whole thing.

You'll get there in the end!

Exactly the same as mine. Only offer 6 weeks aftercare, and say at his discretion will look at any problems anytime later on also. A little scary but i definitely cant go to big places, and for some reason rather go private - not sure why though! i do like this surgeon.

LOL - no joke - you're not half as bad as me, i have been living in the same 2 bras for the past 4 years!! and YES i DO wash them! All the damn time!! they just dont make those kind of padded bras anymore!! I have been looking at bras all day today in shops and yesterday thinking I WISH i could wear these normal bras! So pretty too!

I really think you are right in sense that not happy now so maybe take the risk - roll on 2011, hope this is the year for me. xxx