nervous about consultation!

i'm going for my first consultation at the end of the month. ive been planning this for aaaaages because ive had studies so waited til i graduated before having the consult and so i've done a lot of research via this forum on everything boob related! now its actually getting closer i feel like i dont know where to start   my mother is also coming with me and she's come round to the idea of me having surgery but as she's so protective i'm imagining her acting like the prosecution in a trial when she questions the surgeon! I'm starting to get flustered about it because i just feel like i'm not even going to be able to convey what i want properly but then if i dont take her im worried i'll forget key points to make. i also want my ears pinned back and she thinks i'm daft for this and that any surgeon who would agree to perform the op is silly    i'm not really sure how to approach it all now   xx

Don't be nervous at all! I'm sure whatever company you are going with will be nothing but friendly! Get together a list of questions and worries you have to take with you and you will soon start to feel more prepared and I'm sure you'll start getting excited. As for your mum mine is the same but she'll get used to the idea once she sees how much you want it. My mum now says she doesn't agree but is supporting me because she loves me xx

Don't be nervous! Like Emily said get together your list of questions and key things you want to know. Write down anything from now until then that might pop up as a worry etc. there's also a great consultation handout in this forum if you've found that? I took my mum too who was more serious that me but she wrote down the answers, and at the end she asked any questions she had. The surgeons are professional so don't tend to leave much answered lol. Just try to enjoy them because they are all the possible start to your boobie journey :) if you are worried though or stressed about your mum, don't take her (surgeons expect you to write notes ... Seen it thousands of times) and when you've found the one you may want another meeting where you could take along your mum!

Enjoy ! Xx

thanks for the tips girlies! ive got the consultation checklist and i feel confident with things like implant choice, profiles, etc so im clued up as i can be on those things i just feel like im going to get in there and completely go blank! its so important to make sure everything is addressed so i feel like i have to get all i can out of this initial consult to make a proper decision but i feel like im winding myself up over it! xx

Don't wind yourself up. Easier said than done I know but they will make you feel so at ease and under no pressure at all I promise :) as long as you feel prepared you'll be fine. Xx

thanks emily! not long til your BA i notice, bet you're excited! xx

I think when you click with them you know and this is only cemented more if you meet other surgeons so even if you did forget something your still have that feeling inside if whether they are the surgeon for you or not and again if you did forget anything you can always see then again :) xx

I'm very excited! The whole journey is very exciting all from that first consultation. I hope you find it the same!! Xx

thanks jennifer, that's a good point, ive only booked with one surgeon so far, not sure who else to go and see yet as I've researched this surgeon since I've been on here but am looking at a few other options too so i'll see who else i want to visit before taking the plunge! xx

emilysarahdodds wrote:I'm very excited! The whole journey is very exciting all from that first consultation. I hope you find it the same!! Xx

 thanks! i hope I do too! ideally i'd like to have the surgery in october as the surgeon has a 2 month waiting list so if im happy with him i'll hopefully book not long after but we shall see! xx

hi hun,
don't stress yourself so much, this is meant to be a positive journey!  

remember this is your very first consultation and it is generally recommended that you go to see several different surgeons anyway. so if anything, you can use this one as very good experience to learn from, and even if you don't click with them, at least you then know the process for next time.

if you are worried about your mum taking over, explain to her beforehand that though you would like her there, this is about you and if she has questions maybe she can keep them till the end, and not butt in during the consultation, as this should be an honest discussion between you and the surgeon. and you have to convey honestly and openly to the surgeon what you are looking for, for him/her to be able to help you properly.

you could always go by yourself if you think your mum might be too much for the first time around. even if you come away from this first consultation thinking this is the surgeon you want, it would be good to also see other surgeon, and then make a second appointment with the surgeon of your choice, where you can ask a lot more questions, make definitive choices on implants etc and then maybe take your mum to ask any other questions?

and having your ears pinned back is a very common procedure and not at all silly. make sure you can be honest and open in your consultation and not feel like you have to hold back because someone is sitting next to you judging you.

good luck hun xx

thanks blueeyedsoul, i think its the case that this has been a long time coming for me as i started researching around 2-3 years ago so now its finally upon me i feel like i have to really focus and get the answers i need. i want my mum there to support me but i just dont want her to become overbearing as she's very worried about the surgery, especially as i want two procedures not just the one, plus she works with politicians so shes used to acting quite tough at work, so although her input will help, i dont want her to give the surgeon a complete grilling! lol xx

lol i completely understand!

it is important in the first consultation with a surgeon to of course get a recommendation from him on implant type and placement etc, and all the information you need (he will tell you all about the risks in the first consultation as well), but its equally important to just see if you 'click' with him or her.

completely up to you of course but if you're worried about your mum taking over too much it may be worth going to first consultations alone, but bringing her along to a second meeting you have with a surgeon you decide on or are considering to be your final choice. she might be more helpful to you in that second consultation? x

Fab advise off Blue there babe.

If you feel you might freeze during your consultation and not get the answers you're going for then write everything down you need to know hun. Then if you do freeze you can pass your questionnaire to the surgeon, explain how nervous you are and that you'd like the questions answered. 

One thing I will add, and this is we're your mum may come in handy, is that some surgeons try and rush you through a consultation, if this happens and your mum has more front than you then tell her to tell the surgeon that you've come for a 'full consultation' and you've questions that are unanswered and would appreciate them giving you the time to get then answered.

If the surgeon says they can't give you the time, then just imagine this same surgeon if you have a complication post-op and when you'll 'need' their time. If they can't help you pre-op... They won't be there for you post-op!

One last thing... All your nerves will most likely disappear at your consultation (its not a tense situation, more intimate - you'll be fine  ) and if the consultation goes well, because you've been so nervous before going you may get over excited that it possibly went so well (better than you expected) and depending where you're going, you may be pressured to book. 

Don't ever book anything on the day babe. Always come home and give yourself time to digest information and better for you to see at least one other surgeon before deciding.

But back to the consultation - you'll be fine lovely. You have everything planned and in place ready to take with you and if you take pics of what YOU want as well, then your mum can't interfere with explaining the look you're after either when its placed right there in front of the surgeon, with absolutely no confusion at all about what you're wanting from this surgery. Xx

:) thank you for the advice both. i definitely wont book anything on the day, really need to weigh everything up, im just so concerned with making sure i make the right decision i think im panicking myself more than anything. on a positive note, im looking forward to finally seeing a surgeon! xx

Good luck. who is your consult with?x

thanks princess :) my consult is with james mcdiarmid, i know a couple of ladies on the site recently reported they were not too pleased with the results they had with him but through doing my research he stood out for me originally so im going to see him first and pick a few others before i make a final decision. xx

I've heard a lot of good things about James! all the best. Be sure to let us know how you get on won't you :) xx

i will do princess! its at the end of july the 31st so i'll be checking in here straight after that :) xx

Oh bless you with your nerves, but really you don't have anything to worry about, and don't put pressure on yourself as if there is anything that comes up after then you can book further consultations with that surgeon.

I was no where near as prepared as you are for my 1st consultation, and have just learned as I have gone along, so you are in a great position to get all the information that you need.  

Your mum will probably end up being a god send, remembering all the information you hear etc, and to be able to discuss it with her afterwards.

I can't wait to hear how you get on, but please don't worry! xxxx

thanks special! bet you're excited for your op too, that'll fly by! when you're a few days post-op i'll be in my consult lol! xx

Aw hun I completely understand where you are coming from! I got soo nervous on my first consultation didnt think I would even be able to speak when I walked in the room but they are so friendly and welcoming you will forget how nervous u where and be chatting away
. I came out of mine feeling very happy and relaxed (im a major worrier and get sooo nervous of things like that) u will be fine hun!
Also really understand about the ears! I had mine done 4 years ago, every one thought I was being silly but It was honestly the best thing i have ever done! Made me feel sooo much better about my self never looked back!
Just relax hun and take notes it will be fine :) xxx

oh wow zoe glad you've had your ears done,  i can't find seem to find hardly anyone on forums who has had theirs done! i know james favours the chongchet technique so ive done a bit of research, i think it means the cartilage is pulled back via incision, im not 100% as the info ive found is very medical and the jargon confuses me so i'll have to ask him. how did you find recovery after your ear op lovely? xx

yes had them done and sooo glad I did they stuck right out at the top like elf ears lol I had the same method too and they look so much better! One ear has got a slight fold like they have taken it slightly too far back but I dont care coz its soo much better and hardly noticable! 
Not gunna lie hun it is quite sore afterwards and the bandage isint verry flattering! I had bandage round my head for a just over a week and night times a bit uncomfortable but it soon passes and before u no it they are back to normal,  had slight bruising after bandage was removed but still wore my hair up coz they whete flat and I was so happy lol hope that helps hun xxx

thanks zoe thats a great help! when i have found some ear surgery stories ive noticed that some say one ear is slightly different to the other but i'd rather that than the sticky out ears i have now lol! i'm expecting the pain and the massive sweatband style bandage too haha but ive always hated my ears so really hope i can have them done too if price allows! xx