Life turned upside down since BA... :(

Hello ladies,

Not been on much posting, been trying not to really!!! I just need to vent right now so sorry in advance!

Has anyone else find there life change for the worst after a BA???

I am now single have no home or cat... Me and my OH split a month ago and have just handed the keys in today for our home. I feel the change of feelings on both parts is down to my BA :( Things just weren't right after it... we lost a lot of intimacy and I think they killed off the passion due to being careful etc AND even though he hasn't said it I think he hated my new boobs as they look weird and the fact I was talking about it non stop, did his head in!!!
It was mutual for us to split but now I have found myself in a shared house which is horribly cold with people I don't know and I have no BF or cat... our kitty is 9 months old and I wasn't allowed to take him with me so he's staying with my parents luckily so I can still see him but he's just been diagnosed with advanced heart disease, at 9 months old!!!! It's one thing after another at the moment and life is a real drag... so unhappy. I miss my old life.

I feel awful about my body and don't like my boobs, they just look stuck on. I can't stand the thought of eventually meeting someone else and for him to see my boobs, I think whoever the unlucky person is will think I look awful! My confidence has gone, again, though it was never really there anyways. The thought of someone seeing my naked makes me feel sick. I felt secure with my ex, as he was there throughout it.
To be honest, sometimes coming on here doesn't help as so many ladies appear to be progressing so well with there boobs and I'm not...I don't like the feeling of jealously/envy but I feel it with everyone on here :'(

I thought the BA would change my life for the better but it hasn't...it's worse.

Sorry to moan to you all. Just feeling very alone right now.

awww honey....listen...lets get few things sorted for you.
but first a big hug

i can totally relate to you. I have alway lived with boyfriends and been very intependant. The in aug 2012 i found out my bf was cheating on me. I was due to start uni in sept and could afford to rent somewhere on my own.
So at the ripe old age of 26, i had to move back home to my prents house, lose all independance and share a room with three sisters sleeping on a bunk bed. I have no wardrobe to put all my lothes in ( they go in bags on my bed during the day!)

i felt really and truly crap! like i had nothing. Like i had taken 40 steps back in life.
I was in serious need of a rreality check.

It is horrible when everything changes...and when relationships break down. Yur ex bf should have been more supportive and it soubds like he was more concerned that now your boobs are bigger that you are gona be more confident and attract lots of attention and i wonder if he couldnt hadle the pressssure or wnder if he was good enough for you. So for him to say he doesnt like them may be true, except for different reasons then you may think. He doesnt like the change they are going to bring.

Honey, they are very knew, and will not look stuck on forever. Mine were changing all the time dn took over a year to get truly settled.

try to look at the positive. I hate to see anyone upset like this, and i think a good idea is to writr a list of pros in your life. Family that love you, friends, independantly living on your own!!! ( i cant tell you how jealous i m of you!) Sure it may not be the best plae, but for now it will do, and in the future you can start looking for somewhere cosier.

i hope i have offered you some comfort. I envy your independancee, you need to embrace it!!! and realize that i man who isnt supportive is no man at all.
maybe one things have settled you can talk to him if you really miss him. I have a feeling he is worried that you will be so confidennt from your new boobs that you will run off with someone else. So he may just need reasurance. xxx

[quote="jen86"]awww honey....listen...lets get few things sorted for you.
but first a big hug

i can totally relate to you. I have alway lived with boyfriends and been very intependant. The in aug 2012 i found out my bf was cheating on me. I was due to start uni in sept and could afford to rent somewhere on my own.

sorry i meant COULDNT!!!

hi lovely nice to see you back just wish it was in a better way

Sorry to hear about all that has been going on lately,hopefully it all gets better real soon

Im in the same boat as you regarding my boobs, i wish i hadnt spent the money on them at all, naked they look like you say, stuck on, high up and a big space,in clothes they look around the same size pre ba, i used to wear really padded bras

whats your plans, do you feel they are settling orwill you head back and see the surgeon xx

So sorry to hear that about your cat I hope he/she is ok!!
I'm sure there's time for them to change yet? If not they can be fixed?! I hope you feel better about yourself soon but I know no matter what I say won't help but you'll get through this sh*tty stage and come out better xx

I absolutely understand that feeling of jealousy and bitterness watching others healing and feeling alone with problems happening with my own boobs babe, so don't feel you're alone thre. Its a natural reaction to how you're feeling

As for your boyfriend, the split was probably a number of things hun, your concerns about your boobs may have contributed but that alone wouldn't have been the cause for the break up hun.

When do you next see your surgeon lovely? Be sure to get your concerns made clear to them when you go back to see them and if there is something that can be done to help your boobs settle instead of looking 'stuck on' as you say then its time they made decisions to help you hun.

As bad as it feels right now though, things WILL get better. You'll move on... You'll hopefully be happier with your boobs if they require revision or possibly more time and you'll start to make your own happiness again hun.

Everything seems to have spiralled all at once for you haven't they hun and that's gotta be bloody hard to deal with, losing a boyfriend, a home and a cat you adore and worry about all at once. But you will rebuild your life hun. You're young and have so much ahead of you hun and I believe all things in life happen for a reason, so there MUST be better for you out there waiting for you to catch up with it lovely. Xx

JEN: Oooooh reading that brought a tear to my eye! Lovely words Jen86

Sounds like you have been through some tough times too! How are YOU now? Are you still living with your family? Moving back with my folks was an option however I felt at the time if I had done that I would have felt in a bad place more so... I work in Nottingham and my folks are a 45min journey away and that really put me off and losing independence so I jumped straight in for a house share without much though really...however now I'm not sure If I should have gone home save money etc just feel alone.

I think you might be right about my ex not wanting me to change etc but to be honest I think I turned into a bore after the BA just obsessed with boobs and talking about it so I think maybe my obsession just got too much :(

Thank you so much for your reply, it's lovely and really thought filled, you sound like a real gem of a lady and yes, you have offered me comfort. I don't have that many friends (saddo) so it's nice to be able to talk on here! I do that thing of get with a fella and then rely on his mates....which screws you up when you split!

I find it hard to look past how my boobs look now, I know patience is the key but it's so hard, nice to hear yours took a year....nearly half way there!

xxx

TINK: Aw bless ya Tink, you're normally so positive but it's hard isn't it, when they don't look how you want or how everyone elses boobs are. We sounds like we are in the same boat!!! Mine are small too clothed, wished I was more clued up on sizing before I went which is more annoying!!!! I will mention my concerns with my surgeon but not seeing till June :( You're 2 and half months behind me on the boob front so fingers crossed yours will sort out soon! xxx

CHARFAYE: Thank you! Billy (my kitty) is on beta blockers for now and needs another (really expensive) heart scan and x ray in 3 months to see if it's progressing more vet said might only live 6 months or 3 years...she really can't say but knowing that is horrible cos he's such a bundle of joy. How are you and your boobies?!?! xxx

COOKIE: What can be done? I don't really understand revision...I thought you could only do that if something was really wrong, if I told him they are too firm, small stuck on looking what would he do? Would I have to pay for anything if I'm not happy? Not seeing him until june so will be 9 months PO then.
Thank you for your kind words too Cookie... you're right, things will get better I just struggle to look to the future, I dwell on today too much and don't plan ahead :( lovely bunch of ladies you all are xxx

Ooh that makes me so sad!!! Sending big cuddles to billy!!! And to you of course. Yeh they're great I've just got horrid mondors cords, 3 under each boob very attractive huh! Xx

Some revision can be done if you arent happy with they way things are, mine are still sitting high and i seen my surgeon the other night there and he said try some massaging and see me again in 3 weeks and we will go from there, i have the biggest implants in that he could fit so thats a little help to me knowing that i couldnt go bigger this time x

Char, what is mondors cords?!?! Never heard of it! xx

Aw Tink, I really hope the massaging helps things!!!! Fingers and toes crossed for you xx

Some strange thick vein like things under my
Boobs. Not 100% sure of what they are or why they're there but I'm not in pain so my surgeon said don't worry about them they'll go away in there own time xx

I am sorry things havent been good for you these past few months. I hope all settles for you soon. x

zebra1984 wrote:COOKIE: What can be done? I don't really understand revision...I thought you could only do that if something was really wrong, if I told him they are too firm, small stuck on looking what would he do? Would I have to pay for anything if I'm not happy? Not seeing him until june so will be 9 months PO then.

It depends on what your surgeon thinks about the progress of your healing hun. If they agree with you that they're sat high and firm at 9 months post-op it would probably be doubtful they're going to drop any more, so a possible pocket revision may help to sit the implant in a better, more natural position on the chest. This is something you should discuss with your surgeon though babe and don't feel you should wait out the nine months if this is really concerning you. If you're within aftercare its very possible it would be covered but I'm not 100% sure its something that you should discuss with your surgeon babe. Xx

Thank you for your kind words too Cookie... you're right, things will get better I just struggle to look to the future, I dwell on today too much and don't plan ahead :( lovely bunch of ladies you all are xxx

Hugs right back atcha hun

awwww im glad i offerd some comfort then!!! and you have more friends thn you ever thought possible on here. we have such fun on here ad th ladies are all so lovely.
My sister sounds similair in the friends thing. he is ana amzing person, but ll her fries came hrough her ex as he is quite shy. Now thy have broken up after 7 years and a daughter, she feels she doesnt have any friends. your journey in life will bring with it some amazing people, boyfriends and friend, so we hve to be patient, get out there, have fun, accept invites to everything and friends will soon come.

whats the minimu term on your apartment? maye start looking at somewhere else if you are really unhappy there, then you can take the time now to see what else there is uin you price range?
( ive lived in a ahouse share with guy who smoked weed everyday and a girl who wouldnt clean the toilet s she aid she only used it at work!) hahaha
funnily eough, at this same house share, i met my best friend! so silver lining eh?
think positively, and better is out there, just waiting for you.

i actaully dont mind living a home, i just have to remind myself its only temporary.
keep that chin up babe xxx

my spelling is shocking!!! i meant to say,
''my sister sounds similar, her friends came through her ex''

I've never spoken with you before but wanted to jump on and offer a hug

Men just don't get it sometimes and I think that although there will be lots of reasons for your break up, the defining reason is that he clearly isn't man enough. Some times they want it so easy and need so much attention and if something happens that takes that away from them for a minute, it just won't do.

There's a wonderful man out there right now wandering about completely unaware that he is going to meet you and your no doubt fabulous boobies and will consider himself the luckiest guy on earth. But in the mean time, enjoy your independence... it will prove to be an exciting time I'm sure xxxxxxx

Oh no Zebra we were boobie buddies and I have had similar issues. I had a mini breakdown last week and my relationship has been pushed to breaking point. My partner has shown some insecurities since I had my BA and I have found that I am becoming obsessed about my apperance and my partner is finding it hard to cope with my constant wingeing about various different 'faults' that I find. I am having a revision in 2 weeks to get rid of some excess skin so I am not 100% happy with my boobs either and the journey goes on but knowing that my surgeon is doing something about it helps to see the light at the end of the tunnel. I really think you need to see your surgeon about your worries as you cant go on like this x

Oh sweetie I really hope you are ok. I can totally understand I hadn't been great after ba, boyfriend trouble and at 30 had to move back with mum. I know sometimes things must seem so bleak, do you have a good circle of friends that you can talk to or hang out with because these people in your life can really th make a difference. Surround yourself with people that love and support you and believe things will get better. Be kind and gentle to yourself. I really feel for you chick xxxxxxx