I have a bit of a dilemma...pls help

Hi ladies.

Okay, so I haven't told my in-laws or my sister in-law about my BA yet. My in-laws are very judgemental and my father in-law always wants to know what is going on with our finances..we never tell him, bc we are more than capable of handling this, and we are not in debt or anything. Anyways...

We have to go and see my sister in-law on the 20th, my hubby is writing his managers ticket exam the next day and we are staying over at my sister's house. We have go say hello to them, otherwise we'll be that "bad" ones again. We live about 2hrs drive away, so we don't see them that often.

How do I hide the boobs. I still can't get anything over my head, so I've been in Tank and spagetti tops since my BA, and they don't hide much. I won't be able to wear a T-shirt to hide them. I've thought about wearing a smaller Sportsbra, but the agony of being in that the whole day is killing me. Also she has two kids, one is disabled and the other one is only 6 months old, the little boy always wants me to pick him up, he is so cute, so I can't say no...she'll think strange of me when I don't pick them up.

Should I just tell her, and ask her not to mention this to her parents, that I would rather tell them myself.

They are going to be so upset with us, bc I had surgery and didn't tell them. Urgh, I'm not a little child anymore, why should they know everything that goes on in our lives.

I love them, don't get me wrong, but I hate being treated like a child.

Hi StirCrazy, I understand your situation 100% because I'm also thinking all the time about how I should approach them. Why don't you tell them that you had macrolane instead? I think it sounds less "dramatic" than surgery. I hope your father in law doesn't know how expensive macrolane is though ;)

I had a similar but not as bad situation. People who know ive had mine done notice the difference but people who dont know havent mentioned anything. A friend visited with her 3 year old and I just said I had overdone it with a new programme at the gym and hurt my neck and shoulders and couldnt pick her up, that worked for me. How about a baggy sweater or hoodie. Some things I wear I think you cant even tell, the sports bras dont help. Its your business hun not theirs and your life, if they do find out then theres nothing that can be done now your got your lovelies

Awwww Hun I feel for you. None of my family was happy that I had a BA and especially the cost of it. I told them all how we paid for it was nothing to do with them and I was having it done for me not to please them.

If I was you I would be honest and tell them before they find out by noticing or something. They may not agree with it but there your family and should support you anyway!

Good luck whatever you decide to do huni x

I dont' think he knows what it is.lol

I won't tell them how much I paid for them, that is none of their business. I don't ask them what they pay for stuff.

My mother in-law had a tummy tuck when she got sterlized, and she wants a face lift, she doesn't like it when ppl take pics of her.lol. So she will understand, but my Father in-law doesn't want to giver her the money to do it, he says she doesn't need it etc. She's saving up now, and trying to quit smoking.

Thats a bit of a tuff one !! can you just explain to them when you get there that you didnt want them to worry before you had it done ,thats why you didnt mention it ?,and if they dont like it its your body at the end of the day !!! I havent told my 3 sisters yet,only because i think they will try talk me out of it and think im stupid for having surgery i dont need for cosmetic reasons,but on saying that they were all blessed with decent boobs!!!,so they wont understand what its like when you crave some! Whatever your decision i really hope it all goes well for you ! Take care x

Awww hun i so know what your going through, i had my ba 4 days ago and havent told my family. I have a parents that worry themselves sick over us kids and dont want them to worry about me. Plus ive not told my children (age 13 and 16) as i dont want my ex husband their dad to find out as he is rotten scum of the earth and will think i have money to burn and stop my child maintenence. As it happens i paid for my boobs with the compensation money i got from all the years of abuse i sufferd at his hand!!!!

Any way i have told 2 friends plus my sister in law and of course my partner and they are so supportive. As far as im concerned its your own personal journey and up to you who you choose to confide in. I wish you good luck and happy healing sweetie and im sure you will make the right choice xxx

I wish I could wear a baggy sweater, but its summer in S.A, and it get really hot, about 36 degrees on most days. It'll be a sauna in my jacket.lol. Thanks for the suggestion

Oh hun, I'm so sorry you had to go thru that with your ex. No woman should ever have to go thru that. I'm glad you got out, and you did something nice for yourself.

Good luck with your situation too. Us girls have to stick together.

Thanks hun, things in my life are so much better and now i have new boobs and plenty of confidence i feel on top of the world!!

God bless BA surgeons lol xxx

Hi hun,

If you really really don't want to tell them (and why should you) then I'd say something along the lines of having a pulled muscle or something which is why you won't be able to lift anything or pick up the little one.

How about some short sleeved blouses/shirts? If you buy the next size up I reckon they'd cover the girls nicely without giving them away (lol) and you won't have to worry about overheating!

xx

I'll def look into buying a bigger size shirt. Good idea with pulling a muscle.lol. I feel like such a liar.

Oh well. Until I feel ready, I think they don't need to know.

Thanks for the support ladies.

StirCrazy wrote:I wish I could wear a baggy sweater, but its summer in S.A, and it get really hot, about 36 degrees on most days.

Hi StirCrazy, you can wear anything that looks baggy: T-Shirt, tunic, baggy top that comes off the shoulder, or one of those wide beach dresses that look like granny pijamas (if you know what I mean lol). Here are some examples:

[You must be registered and logged in to see this link.]

Thanks xaxa. Love the 1st one and the last one. I actually have a similar top to the last one.

Ive told everyone at my work I've pulled my shoulder as they're all guys and I don't want to discuss my boobs with them. I just say as little as possible about it, so I'm not lying too much and won't catch myself out. Even with my work shirt on they haven't noticed because I'm only slightly bigger than my padded bra's. I guess it depends how much bigger you've gone, but I'm sure you can dress them down.

I think you should only tell them if you want them to know, it's your decision, not their right to know. Xxx