Told my mum, and hubby can drive!!!

Hi girls,

my mum is getting married in September, she's really excited about it and she brought my bridesmaid dress over yesterday to see if she needs to get it fixed for me to wear. Up until this point I've only told my OH and my dad (because my dad is very liberal and also because I needed someone to drive me there), but I decided to tell my mum as well so that she didn't adjust my dress to fit my lack of boob, and I'm so glad I did.

I knew she wouldn't be angry with me or judge me anyway, as she's not like that, but she was literally really supportive and just wanted to know that I'm going to be ok. I've begged her not to tell anybody else at all, because my little sister would tell everyone, and also her step-sister is best friends with my Mother in Law (a total coincidence, we didn't know that when we met). As some of you might know, I'm desperate for my MIL not to find out.

Have any of you not told some of the people closest to you, and had to dress extremely conservatively around them in order to hide it? Or do you think the truth will come out in the end? My OH thinks his mum is DEFINITELY going to find out.

And my other excited news is that my OH passed his driving test yesterday, so he can take me to the hospital and bring me back and I don't need to be on my own!!! YAY. I was so not looking forward to having to wake up and be on my own!! (and didn't want my dad hanging around... yuck!)

Just thought I would share my excitement!!

LL
x

Great news re the car and I am pleased your Mum is happy for you. I have told everyone as I am so excited. However I am a teacher and going back on Monday. I don't want to tell the students what I have been up to in half term so I am going to dress conservatively. I have been wearing lots of padding so hopefully they will not notice any difference. I have been manically looking for clothes that are good for "the office" but not too tight or revealing.

That's really fab news hunnie!!!!! xxx

Aww congrats LindyLou on both counts - that must be a huge relief for you to get her support. I think we probably fear telling our mums the most as it almost seems like we are 'criticising' them for not making us 'right' in a peculiar sort of way - but our mums are generally the most supportive as they, above all people, would want us to be happy with our lives.
xx
PS - who gets the car now??

Hey LindyLou!

I have been on quite a few of the same postings as you so I knew about your mother in law fear. I completely understand not wanting to be judged. My sister in law and I are extremely close & she will soon be embarking on this implant journey. She ended up breaking it to her mom about me getting mine one in the process of mentioning her getting hers done so I'm free and clear of dealing with it. I'm not sure if conversations will come up, I can only cross my fingers and hope not.

Also, super happy your OH is able to go with you now - mentally that's a big thing. I wasn't sure at first if my hubby was going to be able to take me and once it was confirmed he could I felt better not having that worry there.

Also, I haven't been telling a lot of people - I'm too soft for hearing people's opinions on this topic I guess. I haven't really "broached" the subject with my sister. We are close enough but I just don't see it really being something that she would
a) want to know
b) understand
So I'm hoping it won't be hurtful. If it comes up down the road though, I will say exactly why I didn't tell her and I know she will then understand that I am in a whirlwind of emotions. You need to focus on your health and being happy with your body right now and don't worry about telling people. They'll get it down the road when we're honest as to why we didn't call them up - "ya, so I'm getting my boobs done". To me something that starts like that will only end in me justifying myself, ya know?

Anyway, thanks for your thoughts and reading mine!
xoxo, Elle

Lol Carol!!! He gets the car, I get the chauffeur!!! It's perfect.

Elle, thanks for your post hun. I totally get what you mean!! I think when you tell people they don't necessarily realise that actually it's been a massive decision for you, and something that you're scared and nervous about. I hate the whole having to justify it thing worst of all, because there is a part of me that feels like I am being very selfish, and I have no justification that would be good enough in their eyes. But they don't have to live in my body.

I guess as you said they'll get it eventually. I know my M-I-L will immediately know exactly why I haven't told her. She sees through me in everything that I do. I just hope that it won't put a strain on our relationship, and make her not like me any more. I feel completely vulnerable around her, and yet I've always opened up to her in the past about a lot of private things. I just never tell her anything that I know she would disapprove of.

What's worse? Doing something she utterly disapproves of but telling her straight, or not telling her at all and trying to hide it?! lol.

This might sound mad but I've been contemplating telling her that I've swapped back onto the pill (from the contraceptive implant) and "oh... M-I-L... I've noticed my boobs feel a bit swollen and puffy... I hope I'm not pregnant!... Nope, definitely not pregnant, must just be the hormones making my boobs look so full and amazing... oh, and this magic wonderbra I've been wearing... I swear, my boobs have always been this big, don't you remember?!".
I doubt she would buy it, but maybe worth a shot lol!!

LL
x

Hey LL!

You are soo funny with your pill plot! Maybe if you just keep it hush hush and focus on feeling better (keep her away in the process) then if it comes up after tell her the truth?? That way you won't strain it by lying to her but if she confronts you with all that nastiness of not agreeing with implants you can reply back with that is exactly why you didn't feel comfortable bringing it up. You can tighten the relationship by saying you didn't want her to disapprove or be disappointed in something you did and that is why you avoided talking about it. I don't know, I just know that you're going to have this woman in your life for a long time so anything that makes it easier for you the better. If she's dead set against it and you don't think she could forgive you not telling her - I say go with your pill plot!

I can't believe we are in 5 days girl! I'm going mad! I just posted a topic where my madness is full on - I'm pretty sure you're going to see it! Lol, it's hard to miss!!

xoxo

Lol hun, bless you. I saw your post!!! I'm keeping myself too busy to let any fear kick in, as I've come too far now to quit!! I'm just literally not thinking about it and on the day I'm going to keep not thinking about it lol!!

You're right, she's going to be in my life for a long time, and (just like today) she often turns up unannounced at the front door whilst I'm still in my pj's!! So I'm just going to have to give her some waffle when she does finally ask me, and her biggest concern will be the amount of money that I have selfishly spent on myself, so I'll just tell her I got it done on the NHS or something. She (hopefully) won't know any better.

I'm so glad we're going through this together!!! I wish I could be there to give you a big ol' pep talk before your op, but I guess I'll be busy getting mine done at the same time lol!!!

oooh... isn't it really exciting now that it's so close though!!

LL
x